Auntyji
Love Matters

Morning-after pills instead of condoms – is that OK?

By Auntyji Thursday, June 29, 2017 - 21:32
Hi Auntyji. My boyfriend has stopped using condoms – says sex is more fun without them. But he ensures that I use emergency contraceptive pills (ECP) for protection. But it is now impacting my periods. What should I do? Mona, 24, Jalandhar.

Auntyji says... Sawaal yeh hai beta – whose protection are we talking about – his or yours?

First you

Pehle toh Mona – I am a bit let down with you and you ladkis in general. Beta body kiski hai?  Who ought to love it, protect it, respect it – not the padosi, not your mom, not the men in your life and family – but YOU. Bache I say this to all you young women – hundreds of times. Respect your body, love your  body – no one will do it for you unless you do It yourself. Samjhe puttar?

At what cost

Now let's talk about your boyfriend who has given up condoms for the love of self pleasure. We all love pleasure. But what’s the pleasure in you popping hormonal pills so that he gets great sex. Excuse me? Kamaal hai! He wants better sex and you and your body have to 'pay' for it?  What about what that is doing to your body, even to your mind? This constant worry - being hassled and nervous. These are not signs of good sex!

Care or control

Ab tussi kahoge, 'But I don’t want to lose him, Auntyji'. Fine, I understand. You have invested a lot in this relationship. But beta, should he not be housing the same sentiment? 'I don't want to lose her, hurt her or harm her'. This fear ought to be moving him to change his behavior, nahi? But do you know why he is not worried of 'losing' you? Because you have made him feel so. You keep taking those pills – you keep agreeing to his demands – and he now thinks that’s just perfect!  You mistake this for care and love, not realizing what harm you are causing your body and your sense of self as well. This is not care beta, it's control, it's niyantran of your body – your choices.

Final call

That's it. No more pill popping. Gift him a set of sexy condoms. Use mood enhancers for love making. Try new positions and sexify your routine. But make sure - Enter Only Under Cover! Let your periods find their mojo – get back on track. Let your body recuperate. Eat well. Rest well. Exercise well. And your mantra? My body, my control. Right Mona? Go do it. It's not a rejection of his idea of sex – it’s an affirmation of your own body and your rights.

To protect the privacy of the author, the person in the picture is a model.

Have you also popped used ECP as a replacement for condoms? Share your experience below or comment on our Facebook page. If you have a pesonal question, please visit our discussion forum.

Comments

Bete pehli baar sex karte samaye kya karna hai kya nahi karna hai, aur first sex ko kese theek tarah se kiya jaye is bare mein aap yaha detail mein padh lijieye : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/en/news/first-time-sex-dos-and-donts Saath hi sex activity mein alag-alag tariko ka istemal kartay huay isse kese aur mazzedaar banana hai is baare mein yaha padhein: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/ways-make-love https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/making-love Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum

Bete durd ki wajah penis ki skin Yadi woh theek tarah se peeche nahi hui hogi toh yeh durd ka karan ban sakti hai. Isliye is skin ko nahataye samaye halkaye se pichay kar ke saaf karna hota hai jissey ki waha saafai bani raheye. Iske alawa sex mein dryness bhi durd ki wajh ban sakti hai.Jis bare mein poori jaankari aapyeh link padh kar hasil kar sakte hain. https://lovematters.in/en/news/will-my-foreskin-hurt-when-i-first-have-sex For happy sex https://lovematters.in/hi/news/secret-happy-sex-right-lubricant Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum

Relax, Sandip beta. Hastmaithun ek safe/surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti. Yadi chahein toh bahut see activities hain, jinmein aap samya bitaa sakte hain. Jaise ki khel – games, gym ya koi hobbies…ok? Yeh bhi padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating https://lovematters.in/en/news/i-could-masturbate-anytime-anywhere Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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