Curiosity
It all started with a bit of curiosity. I remember being 16 and watching a porn DVD with a group of friends to find out what all the fuss was about. I wasn't sexually active then and, frankly speaking, it grossed me out. I didn't find the penis attractive, I didn't understand why people enjoyed sex!
It was only after I engaged in love-making and found the experience pleasurable that I started masturbating. It's then that I found watching pornography stimulating. What I like about it is that I can satisfy my needs whenever I want all by myself.
*Seema, 21, Mumbai
Fantasising
For me, sexual fantasies have never really worked. I don't get turned on by thinking about sex, I guess I am a more visual person. I need to see it to feel it.
I hear people say that women prefer fantasising over watching porn and stuff like that. I don't know where they get these statistics from! Maybe women are just ashamed of acknowledging that they watch porn, you know how it is. I am talking about it but I am doing it anonymously!
*Sanah, 26, Delhi
Graphic
Nearly all the porn I have accessed has been for a male audience. I guess that's because the industry itself is male-oriented, also maybe because female bodies are just more attractive than male bodies.
I don't mind it though. I don't watch it just to see the women strip. It just sets the mood, I like to see the act, the actual sex. I guess, I just like the whole graphic nature of it.
*Rekha, 31, Amritsar
Secretive
My boyfriend knows that I watch porn and I know that he watches porn, but we haven't tried watching it together. It's still kind of a private space we both have, and it's fine as long as both of us are comfortable with it.
In my experience, I've found that the society I am around just doesn't accept that women wanting sex or indulging in masturbation is completely natural. I still can't believe I have agreed to talk about this. This is the first time I am sharing this part of my life. It's so private and it's so secretive.
*Radhika, 28, Bangalore
Internet
Getting good porn is a pain. The internet is a good resource, but you have to be so careful with viruses. It can give you a tough time if you go wrong. It gets more difficult when you can't discuss these things with others.
I have a buddy who advises me on these issues. He's a really good friend and we've known each other for a very long time, so I'm comfortable talking about it with him. But not everybody can do that.
*Mehrunisa, 35, Chennai
*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.
This article was first published on April 13, 2012.
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