Jealous girl friend
© Love Matters | Rita Lino

Jealousy and Other Problems

Love stories don’t always have a happy ending. It’s safe to say that every relationship has its own set of problems. They can be caused by a lot of different issues. Let’s have a closer look at what could cause trouble in your relationship.

 

LACK OF ATTENTION

 

Most of us have a strong emotional need to be in relationship. And we are unsatisfied when we think we don’t get the attention we want. So if your partner is off on a business trip and doesn’t call you the whole time, it might annoy you.

If you feel like your partner has stopped paying attention to your needs like they used to, it might make you wonder if something’s gone wrong. On the other hand, if you haven’t been able to cope with your partner’s need for your attention because of busy work schedules or just lack of interest, it could add pressure to the relationship at your end too.

In either case, it might be good to have a talk at a time and place that suits both of you. It’s always good to talk over your needs and expectations from the relationship. Often lack of communication can lead to lack of understanding of each other’s needs. Letting your partner know what you want from them and what you can give can help give your relationship a fresh start.

 

SEXUAL DISSATISFACTION

 

Sex is an important part of any intimate relationship. If sex gets worse, it could affect your emotional bond too. You could be left feeling dissatisfied with your relationship if your partner doesn’t want to have sex as often as you do. Or the other way round – if you are not able to keep up with your partner’s high sex drive. It’s totally normal in a relationship for one person to want sex more often than the other person. If your partner says they don’t feel like having sex, respect their feelings and don’t pressure them into it – it’s likely to put them off sex more and more. And if you’re the one who doesn’t feel like having sex – perhaps because you’re too tired or stressed – instead of just saying ‘no’, try suggesting a time in the not-too-distant future when you’ll definitely be up for sex and romance.

You might also find that you’re turned on by very different things. Maybe your partner wants oral sex, but you’re not keen on it. Or you like it rough, but they prefer gentle. Again, pressuring your partner into something they don’t fancy will never be good for your relationship. Talk together, and see if you can find a compromise. If you’re unhappy with your sex life, talking is the key. Don’t blame your partner for the problems or point fingers – giving your partner the idea that they are not living up to your sexual expectations can hurt their self-esteem. Be open and approachable. Listen to what your partner has to say.

 

SEXUAL PROBLEMS

 

You might also have sex problems that have medical or psychological causes. Common problems for guys are premature ejaculation and also delayed ejaculation – either coming much sooner or much later than you’d like to. And another one is trouble getting an erection, often labelled ‘erectile dysfunction’. Erection problems can have either psychological or physical reasons. A lot of women have difficulties achieving an orgasm. And pain during sex is also a common problem for women. This could be because they’re not getting turned on enough to make their vagina really wet, or because their pelvic muscles are tensing up. If you have problems like these that could have medical causes, you’re not alone! Pluck up courage and see a doctor. Most sexual problems can be solved as long as they are given enough time and thought.

 

JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY

 

A little bit of jealousy is common if you have strong feelings towards someone. But when jealousy goes overboard, it could have a bad effect on your relationship. How do you know if you or your partner is being obsessively jealous? There are a few tell-tale signs. They might get angry when you talk to other people or do things on your own, stalk you, demand your passwords to emails, check your SMS messages or listen in to your phone conversations, or constantly complain you’re not giving them enough attention.

Jealousy is a difficult trait to shake off, but possible, if you try. The first step is to realise that being jealous makes life difficult – for your partner as well as for you! After you’ve acknowledged that, it might be a good idea to share your concerns with your partner. Learn more about how to deal with jealousy in our Jealousy: top five facts.

Insecurities may also crop up in unequal relationships where one partner feels he or she gives more than the other. If you are feeling uneasy or unhappy in a relationship try to talk about it with your partner. Communication goes a long way in solving insecurities.

 

GROWING APART

 

Long term relationships sometimes phase out because both partners have outgrown each other – you’ve grown differently as a person over a period of time. You might realise that the two of you have different ideas about life and what you want from the relationship. This could be a result of lack of communication over long periods of time.

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Comments
I was in relationship with a girl for 9.5 years but she had an affair in her college with a guy for 6 months, I was totally unaware about her affair, I came to know when she behaves violently during our communication. That guy had sexually,mentally harassed her, I know this because of spy agent I appointed. I was shocked about her act. That guy cheated her and now she want to come back to me, I am not interested what to do ?
If you are not interested - that’s it then!! Why even explore or ask this question Beta. She has been rude, she has been unfair and now she wants to come back - how is that healthy? Moreover, there is suspicion in your relationship - you have used a "spy agent", now perhaps the trust is lost - from both sides. So I’d say, let it go beta - get ahead. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
I have been in a long distance relationship from last 7 years. He stays in Mumbai itself but because of his family issues we can't meet often. Lately, I have been wanting to stay alone. Not that i have fallen out of love with him or anything like that. But, i just don't want any kind of relationship right now. But it would be selfish of me to break up with him now and expect him to wait for me until I dont feel like this again. And I know for a fact that this is the only guy I want. What do I do?
Everyone is allowed to make and change their mind - about anything. You seem to be needing some breathing space - some change of scene - so take it. Remain good friends with the guy - as is LDR is very difficult to keep. lets hope he understands what you are going through and is equally Ok with it. Just reassure him - tell him you need a small self catch up - or on the other hand - go visit him in Mumbai - after you take your small ""off time"". May help smoothen things over. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Namaste Aunty Ji, Mera naam Rahul hai, mein Ghaziabad mein rehta hu. mein apni biwi aur bachchi ke sath apne ghar mein rehta hu. hum dono mein bahut prem hai aur hamari ek choti si pyari si beti bhi hai. hamari shaadi ko 6 saal 5 mahine ho gaye hai. hum dono apne iss pavitra rishte se bahut khush hai. aur ek dusre k liye jaan chidakte hai, hum dono hi ek dusre mein samaye hue hai. par kuch samajik tatva hame disturb kar rahe hai jinme se kuch padoshi bhi hai aur kuch unknown log jinko hum log jante tak nahi yeh log hamare iss pavitra rishte ko khatm karne ki puri koshish kar chuke hai. hame police pe bharosa nahi kuki poilce walo ka inn logo pe support bhi hai local police ka. yaha tak ki maine apni wife ko apni baby k sath unke ghar bhej dia hai taki wo dono safe rahe. par mujhe apne aas paas ka mahol bahut ganda lag raha hai. jisse hum dono bahut disturb bhi ho rahe hai. hum pehle jaha rehte the, waha bhi yahi mahol tha aur waha k logo ne hi yaha kuch logo ko bevajah bhadka kar hamare piche laga rakha hai jisse hum dono aur hamari family bhi bahut paresan hai meri sisters and broter in law bhi aur mere bhaiya and bhabhi aur unke kids bhi.....hamara parivar majboot parivar hai...par kuch bade politicians and wrong police person hamare parivar ko todne ki koshish kar rahe hai..jisse mera parivar bahut upset raha hai ab tak. hamari kai baar in logo se ladai bhi hui par fir bhi yeh log nahi sudhre aur picha karte rahe aur yaha tak ki hamara apne hi samaj mein rehna muskil ho raha hai isliye hum log apne gharo mein jyada rehta hai aur bahar kam nikalte hai par jab bhi kisi kaam se bahar niklate hai tab yeh log bevajah paresan karte hai aur naak mein dum kar rakha hai hamare. humne bhi soch lia hai ki hum marege nahi balki aiso logo ko sabak sikhaege taki yeh log humse door bhage par inki quantity jyada hai aur har samay hum bhi yeh sab baaten nahi soch sakte dimag mein kuki apna ghar bhi dekhna hota hai. hamne police ka sahara bhi lia par ulta case humpe hi ho gaya meri family k log thane mein band hokar aa gaye...mujhe ab aur kuch samajh nahi aata sivay inn samasyao ka majbooti se samna karne k alawa humne ab tak bahut ladaiya lad li hai par yeh piche hatne ka naam hi nahi le rahe aur hum todne ki puri koshish kar rahe hai jiski vajah se mere ghar ki mahailae kai baar aapatti mehsus kar chuki hai aur iss karan se bahar nahi nikalti hai. mein bhi bahuut paresan hu mein aur meri peru family iss samasya se lad rahi hai par abhi tak hum isse bahar nahi nikal pae hai. mein agar apna ghar bhi change kar du aur dusri jagah lu to waha bhi yeh log hamara picha nahi chodege ab aap hi hamari iss samasya ka samadhan kare.
Oh bete! Yeh toh bahut gambhir sthiti hai, lekin sorry bete - iske baare mein hum aapki koi madad nahi kar sakte hai. Aap kisi achchhe lawyer/wakeel se mil kar kanuni salah le sakte hain, apne aur apni family ke protection ke liye. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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