Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

My ex now says he has HIV – am I infected?

By Auntyji Tuesday, March 24, 2015 - 05:30
My ex-boyfriend just told me that he may be HIV+. He said he was at risk before he met me. Now he wants to take a test. I should too, right? I am so worried, angry, confused and frankly a little afraid as well. SG (27), Delhi.

Auntyji says… O Mai God! Can’t imagine what you must be going through. Let’s do it together, beta.

No need for me to say, beta, but read up from reliable sources on HIV/AIDS. I am sure you must have done it already. But let’s first attend to this matter factually.

If he was HIV+ while he was with you and you had unprotected sex, which is quite common, then yes, you are at risk. As we know, unless tested we can’t tell for a considerable period of time whether this virus is in us or not.

So yes, he may have been carrying the virus, since he now says he was at risk at one point of time in his life. I feel like using an expletive here, but it’s not allowed in print so let this suffice – for the first time, *&^%$! – for your sentiments only, my dear girl, SG.

Testing times

I am not going to lose any time, beta ji, and request you at once to get a test. Any reliable lab will do a test. It is a blood test, so nothing complex there. I know how easy it is to say, and how very hard to do, I know very well, beta.

Aye haye, as if feet have been chained down and won’t take the next step. Uff!! Terrible. But beta, just go and do it and get this monkey off your back.

HIV is a very delicate virus and it’s not as easy to contract like say, Hepatitis B and C. Also, some years have elapsed between your ex’s exposure to the virus and this date. Abhi tak toh, some symptoms may have emerged, but still beta, you MUST test.

Take someone you love with you, I wish I could come, and get it over with. Theek hai? So when will you go?

Love, sex aur dhokha

Now coming to your ex. Great that he is an ex, to begin with. And this is out and out cheating – jhooth, fareb and dhokha. In fact beta, love, sex and dhoka, you know.

Khoteya *&^%, poor behaviour! How can any man behave like this? In all these years he knew you, he just “forgot to share” an intimate secret with you. Why? Because you would stop having sex with him?

He could have done the same test back then and either shared it with you or not, taken your help, allowed you to make a choice whether or not you want to have a sexual relationship with him... endless possibilities, but he did not. He chose to just keep quiet about it and enjoy the ride. Utter and total cheating.

It’s past

The fact that he could do such a thing must be so shocking to you. It’s breaking my heart, I can’t imagine what it must be doing to you, beti SG. Jaatey jaatey ek darr aur de gaya – is this the legacy of the relationship he has left you with? *&^%$!!

He put you at risk. At what cost, why did he do it, did he never think of you even once, each time you were intimate? Is this really love, was it fear of rejection, fear of losing you and yet jeopardising you?!

So many emotions must be running through your mind and heart, beta SG jee! I have maintained that trust is an integral part of any relationship, so he has broken yours and no wonder you are so broken now. Very weak person he is, but let’s say, was!

You are justified with each of these feelings, my dear girl. Go get that test out of the way and then get him out of your way, but not without a real mouthful. And definitely send him this column, with your Aunty’s “blessings”!

Asli mard banne chale hain, pehele asli insaan toh ban jao. Jug jug jeeve meri kuddi, meri pyaari guddi, maa sadke maa vaari. Hurry now, am waiting for the result. We all are with you, beta SG.

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.

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