Can I visit a sex-worker for my physical needs?

By Auntyji Tuesday, May 22, 2012 - 16:05
Is it right to go to a sex worker to enjoy sex? I know that such an act involves lots of risks. But if I use a condom, am I safe? Diwakar, Cochin

Auntyji says… Dear Diwakar Puttar, let's make one thing clear first. Your Auntyji only judges those who judge others. Basically there is no right or wrong or good or bad. Only then we can do baatein Khul ke. Nahi Kya?

Betaji, if you ask me there is nothing wrong in visiting a sex worker. They don't call it the oldest profession for nothing. All over the world, millions of people pay for sex. They all have their reasons and most survive to tell their tales.


Consent and age

Sex is a really fun activity, but only if both the people involved are consenting to it. So you need to find a sex worker who hasn't been coerced into the act and is not underage. If you feel that she is not happy about it, or she is younger than 18, then you're just committing sexual assault. So choosing the sex worker is very crucial.

This is hard for you to know, so you can do little more than follow your instincts and be honest with yourself if you have a feeling something is not right. But remember that many prostitutes are legally too young and are doing it against their will to make money for somebody else.



Diwakar, you haven't given me enough details about your life or any other information about this decision. I hope that it’s not the impending monsoons in Kerala. I would go by face value and believe that you know what you are getting into.

And I'm sure that you aren't in a relationship. Because if you already have a girlfriend or a wife, this will amount to cheating on her. And I will not approve of such shenanigans.



We might not like it, but some decisions have long-term and wide-ranging repercussions. I will just put a few points on the table to ponder. There are various societal taboos around visiting prostitutes. Made public, this visit can wreak havoc on your personal life and your family's.

So do think a little bit about possible fallouts. I would strongly advise you to think a bit about how will this impact your life in near and long-term future.


Safer sex and condoms

It's great that you are already thinking of safe sex. We all know that fun can be dangerous sometimes. You are right that sex with a professional sex worker has a few medical risks as well. But the precautions are the same that you will take in any sexual relationship.

I think you would like to avoid any kind of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), especially AIDS. Condoms are simple, cheap and effective measure of safe sex.

If you use a condom correctly with a prostitute, your risk of getting HIV or passing it will be next to nothing.

You can also try the female condom too, though they are expensive, difficult to find and a bit cumbersome too, depending on the type. Of course with condoms, there is the added benefit of birth control as well.

If you want even more safety, try to find out if the sex worker has recently tested for STDs and follows safe sex practices. STDs are tricky because often you don't show symptoms but you can still pass on the infection.


Pros and cons

And it's good to know what's safe and what's not so safe. Certain sexual activities carry higher risks of HIV and other STDs than others. For instance, kissing is safer than having unprotected anal sex. And do remember these safe sex practices every time you have fun, not just with sex workers

So no moral policing here, but as always self-regulation is the key to safe and fulfilling sex life. Think about this over a few glasses of Rooh Afza. Measure the pros and cons and make up your mind about what you are getting into. I am confident that you will become stronger and happier.

*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.

Do you have any questions on safe sex? Share with Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum.

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hi ji m 27 yrs old .. i had sex wit sex worker using condem due to frsust in my life .. m sry for this.. after hvng sex i bath wit detol clean everywher usng dettole .. just my semen came out that it .. i taken out . m afraid plz tel me wat to do ?
Dear Aunty ji, i m 30 yrs old boy & till now i hv nt do sex with any female & also donot seen the real sex organ of a female. so i wnt to doing sex with some one else like prositute. bcoz i think max girls are doing sex before marriage & if i donot make sex before marriage after mariage when i will know that my wife have been doing sex before marriage & that time i will feel guilty & violence , which wl pour bad effect on our married life. so if i doing sex before my marriage my wifes sex history should not pour bad effect on our mard life. so Aunty ji what is your suggestion ?
Hmmm, dear cleaning with dettol with not help in this case. The virus does not stay outside the body but rather finds its way in... how long ago was this incident? If it is still less than 5 days you can go to a govt hospital and ask for what is called PEP. Its not easy to find but that's one way, It is a course of medicines one has to take to reduce the risk of possible transmission. Am sorry beta, but there is not much that we can say.
sachin patil
Mon, 05/19/2014 - 23:29
I am 30 year old unmarried male. I haven't sex in my life,but I have habit of lot of masturbation. is there any risk due to masturbation.
24 and still single..feels like am desperate to get hooked for sure. .no doubt about that.. But the thing is I dont know what love is..I think I ll believe more in commitment than in love.. but how to reach there even. . So many girls I liked since I was 16 I guess..but has never gethered the confidence.. I always think she deserves someone better... loosers talk I kno... Right now, I like a girl...we study in same from north.. she is a south indian.. hav never talked to her.. want to be friend with her..then boyfriend girlfriend thing...but how to approach, no fkin idea. And I think I got just avg looks....can anyone help??? I kno its not a dating site... still I want to return I can only say that god bless u all....
I m 21 years old single man.I hardly have any girl around me throughout the whole life because of I don' know which xyz reason.Recently I plan to have atleast kissings with a prostitute if not sex.But tell me is there any chance of getting caught if raids takes place.At the same time,I respect and all the girls and I m not willing to go anything against their will.
I m 21 years old and single man.I don't have any kind of female friend.I feel isolated.I plan to go to prostitute.I respect every girls and I don't want to do anything against their will.Please tell me is there any chance of being caught if police does raids.?
Aunty ji, i am 28 yrs old andnever had any girlfriend till date nor i have managed to get any girl for marriage(although parents tried to arrange earlier but could not materialize), now i m vry much frustated especially wen i see people around having partner wid dem, for last few months i have been looking 4 paid sex and erotic massages outside where i tend to visit twice every month which sometimes leaves me with guilt and shame dat i m wasting money and also going there repeatedly but avoid vaginal sex rather go for protected oral sex as far as possible. I urgently need a solution for such a kind of peculiar disease of mine, i dont know whether i m unfortunate that i could not have any girl in my life
All right! So listen. Relax. Whats the issue, things will happen as and when they do. In the meanwhile meet new people, go out, have fun. Join a social space such as a gym or a hobby or better a sport- you will meet all kinds of folks and that will surely give you a new zest in life. As ofr paid sex, that is never the solution to anything beta- its just time pass. And its making you unhappy…so why do it? Try what I say and see, you may still not get a partner but you will find a new hobby a new interest and thats what you need. Just relax my dear, life has only just begun.
bhargav shastry
Wed, 11/05/2014 - 21:56
iam from telangana state doing my engineering 4th year i had a habit of mastrubation from past 8 bone marrow got skin got wrinkles and cheeky face ,fatigue,stammering,eye sight, lack of memory power and many more...( i mastrubated 3 times a day )...all i want to ask is how to get back my body to normal..friends tell me have non a bhramin..i very eager to visit a prostitue daily im dying with tat desire but wat if i get aids ???i fear to talk with girls in my class..i want to die ... ...please reply me...
Relax! Masturbation is a safe way to satisfy yourself. It would do no harm nor any illness. But there are many other activities where you can spend or utilize your time such as sports, games or pursue your hobbies. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask”
Relax, dear! Sex with condoms is considered safe so there is no need to worry. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask”
i want to sex with prostitute aunty but i need safe sex without any infection and disease please help me this is my first time
Read about safe sex here: If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask”
iam 23 year old Student i had sex with prostitute many times but iam using 2 condoms every time is it a safe sex ?? Please reply me iam so worried.
Sohel bete, a single condom is enough for safe sex, if used properly. Using two condoms, is actually unsafe as it increases the chance of the condom slipping/breaking. Read here: If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask”
Hey, Sunny beta. Please relax. Worrying won't help the situation, will it? A good idea in this case will be to get tested, to be sure. And to get tested again, after three months. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask”
My wife is denying sex and I am sex deprived and I can not move out of my Marriage as I have kids. In such a scenario to statisfy my bodily needs I started visiting pros. Is it wrong?
Who will decide what is right or wrong beta- Only You. if you are OK by it then fine , if not, you feel bad or guilty - take some time. The bigger question is why your wife is anti sex - although the choice is very much hers. Does she offer any good reason? Why not talk to her - try to understand what she says and feels? If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask”
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