Archana (name changed) is a 29-year-old producer from Delhi.
Finally on Tinder!
I haven't been in a serious relationship since past four years. I was in a long-term relationship with a guy since school but we broke up after eight years. I was heartbroken. After that, I found it really difficult to have a committed relationship. Ever since then, I’ve had two boyfriends. None of those relationships lasted more than a few months.
My friends are always interested in my love life or the lack of it more than I am. Until last month, they were begging me to try Tinder. They have tried to set me up with every single boy they know. Lately, my mother has also started pestering me to look at nice, single and well-educated boys. This sudden interest everyone has in my life feels a bit overwhelming.
Finally, giving up to all the pressure, I let my friends sign me up on Tinder. I don’t hold anything against casual dating. But I still feel a bit old fashioned. I want to be flattered and wooed. I prefer talking face-to-face to texting. I have never dated anyone online and I am terrible at sexting or flirting.
Feeling empowered
I had another reason to not meet anyone. In a city like Delhi, women feel unsafe talking or interacting with strangers. But a lot of my friends frenzied about Tinder.
When I finally began using it, swiping left felt empowering. I started getting a lot of creepy messages, from all kind of boys who wanted to be friends. However, nothing exciting popped up.
After about two weeks, I finally came across someone interesting. His name was Dhruv. I instantly swiped right and started chatting with him. He was really funny and could hold a conversation. I was intrigued. We decided to meet.
Too good to be true
I chose a restaurant and we decided to meet for an early dinner. He was on time, something I really appreciate about people. He looked nice, smelt nice and spoke well. He was a bit too enthusiastic and animated about things but nothing I couldn't handle.
He was a good listener too. It almost felt too good a date to be true. I was having a good time but still hadn't decided if I was going to have sex with him or not. I also wasn't sure what he was expecting.
Despite the fact that everything was going right, I decided to take it a bit slow. I wanted to have another date before I had sex with him. I wasn't very comfortable yet. I think, I take some time to let anyone into my private space.
Taking it slow
Moreover, I had met Dhruv for the first time. After our drinks and dinner, we decided to call it a night. I was going to book an Uber when he said he could drop me on his way back home. He asked if I would like to go to his place. I smiled and said no. I did say we can meet again if he would like to. He said we should.
On our way back, he asked again if I had changed my mind and go home with him. “We could just listen to music and have another drink,” he said. I politely refused. I started feeling a little bit of tension. He stopped to buy cigarettes. As he got back into the car, he started talking and leaned towards me to kiss me. I moved away.
Once bitten twice shy
After a two-minute pause, I told him I didn't really feel up to it. He apologised immediately and started driving. There was an awkward silence for a long time. I just wanted to get home quickly. I wasn't comfortable at all.
He started talking to me again and we had a really awkward conversation. I wasn't angry or anything, just uncomfortable. Thankfully, we reached my house. I thanked him and he leaned in again for a hug. He tried to kiss me again, this time a little more aggressively. I pushed him away, got out of the car and ran up to my second-floor house.
I could hear him apologise to me but I didn't stop or look back. After about 10 minutes, I could hear his car pull away.
Dhruv hasn't messaged me since that night. I am still on Tinder. I haven't uninstalled it. I haven't swiped right on anyone else again either. I am unsure if I am going to give Tinder or any online dating site another chance.
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