Auntyji
thingkreations

Sex stopped when she got pregnant – what now?

By Auntyji Tuesday, April 3, 2012 - 17:04
Q: My wife is not interested in sex anymore, now that we have a baby. I feel that for her it was like, "OK, I am pregnant...now no more sex". What should I do? Sachin, Bhopal

Auntyji says… Now, worry not ji, this is perfectly natural.

It's obvious that your life will never be the same. And I am sure that you are looking forward to a lot of joy, a lot more responsibilities and some changes as well. Especially if the baby is your first one.

I understand your situation. Don't be surprised to find your wife less interested in sex than you are.

Motherhood is almost a full time job. Let her get used to the feeling. There will be times when you might feel neglected or even frustrated. But don’t let her know that. I know you will suddenly feel like that you are not the most important person in her life. Right?

Insecure


So as I say, no need to worry, your wife is feeling just like many, many other women. It's not that she is not interested in you or being with you anymore.

I'll be surprised if your votti is not worried about the repair of an episiotomy or some stitches that she had.

Also, media constantly tells us that even a slightly overweight woman is not sexy, so maybe she's just a bit insecure. Go ahead, make her feel comfortable and good about her body. Tell her how she still rocks your life and you'll be rocking the bed in no time.

Spice


Basically play your cards strategically. Remember her sex drive is not dead, maybe just subdued. The little bundle of joy soaks up her time, energy and emotions.

So maybe try something new to spice up the things. Maybe at times you can be spontaneous, maybe at times ask her what she wants. After my first-born, I too was kind of coy for a few months, but your uncle was quite a player. And I am glad to share his secret with you today.

Snuggle time


Sachin, remember that you have the home team advantage, so use it. You already know what rocks her boat. So push the right buttons and then start the engine. Rev slowly until warmed up. Focus on her needs, entice her and then just wait for your turn. Yes I am advising a little bit of manipulation but it’s for a good cause, so am sure rab will forgive me. In my experience, there is no sex better than gratitude sex.

Most importantly don't rush anything. Try to plan some time alone, even if it's just to cuddle: Having a baby may leave you feeling ‘touched out,’ but some special snuggle time with your wife can help revive that, even before sexual intercourse is allowed or wanted. Sooner the later, she will want ‘it’ too. Lets just reach that time and space mutually.

On slow days, feel free to resort to masturbation. There is nothing bad or unhealthy about it. Perfect way to let out the steam.

Quality not quantity


But getting back to your main concern, remember that bedtime might not always be the right time. Nor will the bedroom always be the right place. Try out different places to have sex!

Remember ultimately it's all about quality not quantity: You don't have to have sex every night, maybe just every week – or whatever suits you, there is no right or wrong. Figure out what timing is right for you.

Take your time. Having sex before you are ready (your mind or your body) can be potentially harmful to your relationship. So don’t think short term, take it slow and easy, and you will indeed reap the benefits.

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

Have questions? Please ask Love Matters (LM) experts on our discussion forum. Don't forget to check out our Facebook  page.

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Comments
Bete Sagar Durd hone ka ek sabse mehtvpuran karan yeh ho skata hai ki apki partner sex ke liye theek tarah se tyyar hi nahi hui hon. Bete yeh baat bohot achhe se samjh lo aap ki sex karnye ke lieye dono hi partners ko tanavmukat hona bohot hi zaruri hai! Aur dono ka tyyar hona mentally, physically, emotionally bhi bohot zarurui hai. : http://lovematters.in/hi/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-can-i-please-my-wife-bed
Yadi aap bina kisi protection key ya bina surakhsha ke sex ki soch rahe hai toh shayad aap un dino ki baat kar rahe hain jin mein bachcha rukna mushkil hai. Yeh ho toh sakta hai lekin yeh poori terh se surakshit nahin mana jaata hai. yadi aap pregnancy ke risk se bachna chatay hai to kisi aur tarikay kay mukabley Condom ka istemal hi easy aur safe tarika hai http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility
Sorry for the delay in response bete! Acha suniye is dino shuru se third month tak aur phir saatvein mahene se le kar …. Is samy avoid keejiye. Jo wife ko pasansd ho who hee keejiye , jo doctor salaah de who bhi samjh leejiye. Aur dekho bête behtar hoga ki aap condom ka isltemal karein. Ya phir discharge andar NA hone dein. Iske ilava wife ki comfort ka poora dhyaan keejiye.Aur haan! last 3 months mein definitely safety rakhiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
Mam mri pregnancy ko 2 months hue hen mre husband ny fingring ki mri Jiski wja sy n discharge hui to bleeding hui kya bcha zaya hogya reply me fast plz m worry
Suno Is duran shuru se third month tak aur phir saatvein mahene se le kar …. Is samy avoid keejiye. Jo wife ko pasansd ho who hee keejiye , jo doctor salaah de who bhi samjh leejiye. Aur dekho bête behtar hoga ki aap condom ka isltemal karein. Ya phir discharge andar NA hone dein. Iske ilava wife ki comfort ka poora dhyaan keejiye.Aur haan! last 3 months mein definitely safety rakhiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
Bete yeh janne ka kewal yahi tarika hai ki After 10 days aap ek home test kar saktey hain. Morning urine sample is much better for this. Ok? http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility
Mam meri shadi ko 2years ho gaye hai lekin meri wife abhi tak pregnant nhi hui hai hair tarah se try kar liya lekin mam meri wife ko gas or piles ki shikayat hai kya isse kuch problem mam plz jawab jarur de me bohut pareshan hu
mam meri biwi ko 10 weeks pure hogai hein maine 10 weeks se pehle or baad mein apni biwi ke saath sex kya tha kia is mein koi khatra hai maam ???????????
Hmmm! 10 weeks kya pregnancy ke? Toh bete is duran shuru se third month tak aur phir saatvein mahene se le kar …. Is samy avoid keejiye. Jo wife ko pasansd ho who hee keejiye , jo doctor salaah de who bhi samjh leejiye. Aur dekho bête behtar hoga ki aap condom ka isltemal karein. Ya phir discharge andar NA hone dein. Iske ilava wife ki comfort ka poora dhyaan keejiye.Aur haan! last 3 months mein definitely safety rakhiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
Kya aap Virya ke muhh mein jane ki baat kar rahe hain? So aap sahi kiss nazar se keh rahee hain? Ki kya yeh koi beemari karta hai, so nahin.Lekin kya yeh aapko sahi lagta hai, sawaal yeh hai, yadi nahin toh mana kar deejiye aur unhe samjha deejiye ki aapko yeh theek nahin lag raha. Saath hee saath yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki yadi mooh mei choot bhi jaye toh aap turant use baahr thook dein, andear lene ki koi zaroorat nahin. Mukh maithun ka eke hen pehlu hai atyant saaf safai – dono partners keliye, iska dhyaan rakhiye. All the best beta. http://lovematters.in/hi/news/oral-sex-dos-and-donts-0
Mam meri 23 age hai maine apne husband k sath sex kiya or mai abi pregant ni hona chah ti withour sex kiya per ander kuch ni kiya mujhe period ni aa re so i am pregant plz reply mam
Bete Jyoti yeh ek bohot badi mithya hai ki sperm bahar nikalne se garbhdharn nahi hota hai kyunk pregnant hone ke liye ek shukranu bhi bohot kaafi hota hai. Zara yeh padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/10-most-common-contraception-myths Ab jaldi ek pregnancy test lijiye ya jaldi aap FPAI clinic se sampark kar sakety hai jiski jaankari aaapko iski website pe mil jayegi . Iske illava ,Phoren kisi vishagya ya achche panjikrit doctor se mililye. All the best http://www.fpaindia.org/
Bete Sharif zara yeh samajh lo ki Bete shuru se third month tak aur phir saatvein mahene se le kar …. Is samy avoid keejiye. Jo wife ko pasansd ho who hee keejiye , jo doctor salaah de who bhi samjh leejiye. Aur dekho bête behtar hoga ki aap condom ka isltemal karein. Ya phir discharge andar NA hone dein. Iske ilava wife ki comfort ka poora dhyaan keejiye.Aur haan! last 3 months mein definitely safety rakhiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
lucky chhbra
Tue, 09/01/2015 - 16:08
Mam meri biwi ko six month chl rha hai...apne jaisa kha h ki last three month no sex. Agar hum dono ko sex karne ki icha ho to kya karein.pls suggest us
Bete shuru se third month tak aur phir saatvein mahene se le kar …. Is samy avoid keejiye. Jo wife ko pasansd ho who hee keejiye , jo doctor salaah de who bhi samjh leejiye. Aur dekho bête behtar hoga ki aap condom ka isltemal karein. Ya phir discharge andar NA hone dein. Iske ilava wife ki comfort ka poora dhyaan keejiye.Aur haan! last 3 months mein definitely safety rakhiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
Maam meri wife ka 5th month complete huva mera sex karne k liye dil karta hai kya hum sex kar sakte hain meri wife ka bhi dil karta hai hambistar k liye kya hm sex kar sakte hain plz reply soon ...I will wait
Hmmm! Acha bete suniye shuru se third month tak aur phir saatvein mahene se le kar …. Is samy avoid keejiye. Jo wife ko pasansd ho who hee keejiye , jo doctor salaah de who bhi samjh leejiye. Aur dekho bête behtar hoga ki aap condom ka isltemal karein. Ya phir discharge andar NA hone dein. Iske ilava wife ki comfort ka poora dhyaan keejiye.Aur haan! last 3 months mein definitely safety rakhiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
dhananjay
Tue, 09/15/2015 - 17:35
Mai meri wife ko opration se ek ladki hui iske 2 mahine bad ham dono ne sexual sambadh bna liya bina kisi surksha ke aur abhi tak mc bhi nhi aaya hai koi dikat to nhi
Bete yadi yeh sex unsafe tha toh yes ismein pregnancy ke chances ho skate hain. Iske liye phoren ek home pregnancy test lijiye. Phir kisi vishagya ya achche panjikrit doctor se milo aur dekho kya ho sakta hai. Iske illava aap FPAI clinic se bhee sampark kar sakety hai jiski jaankari aaapko iski website pe mil jayegi. http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/unplanned-pregnancy http://www.fpaindia.org/ Aur yaad rakhiye Yadi aap pregnancy ke risk se bachna chatay hai to kisi aur tarikay kay mukabley Condom ka istemal hi easy aur safe tarika hai. http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility
Bete shuru se third month tak aur phir saatvein mahene se le kar …. Is samy avoid keejiye. Jo wife ko pasansd ho who hee keejiye , jo doctor salaah de who bhi samjh leejiye. Aur dekho bête behtar hoga ki aap condom ka isltemal karein. Ya phir discharge andar NA hone dein. Iske ilava wife ki comfort ka poora dhyaan keejiye.Aur haan! last 3 months mein definitely safety rakhiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
Anonymous
Wed, 10/07/2015 - 05:32
meri patni ko 4 mahine ho chuke h baccha huye uski iccha to bahut hoti h par vagina geeli nahi hoti aur hum sex nahi kar pate. plz give me ans.fast
Hmmm! Bete delivery ke baad ek mahila ke sharir mein kuch changes ajana bohot hee samanya hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-can-i-please-my-wife-bed https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/her-orgasms aur yaad rakhiye, ki woh kabhi bhi pregnant ho sakteeh hain. So take precautions. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-after-pregnancy-how-can-i-tell-him-im-not-ready
Arun beta, isse Anal sex ya guda methun kehte hain. Yadi dono partners ki poori sehmati hai isse karne mein toh kar saktay hai lekin wo part bohot dry hota hai jiske liye koi chiknai Jaise KY jelly ka istemal kiya ja sakta hai ya chikanai yukt condom bhi use kar saktay hai, yadi condom ka istemal kiya jaey to koi side effect nahi hai. LEKIN, yeh jaan lijiye ki Har koi hark kism ke sex ke liye tayyar nahin ho jaate – isme unki marzee honi chhaiye. Yadi unhe yeh pasand nahin toh iska matlab hai, NAHIN. Samajh Gaye? https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/anal-sex Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
hii mam . mam maine apne pati k sath Orel sex kiya hai Sirf vo bhi without any protection to kya mai pregnant ho skti hu
Hi, Siddhi beta. Isse pregnancy nahi hoti lekin Kyunki Mukh maithun ka sabse ehem pehlu hai atyant saaf safai – dono partners keliye, iska dhyaan rakhiye. All the best beta. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/oral-sex-dos-and-donts-0 Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Arti beti, actually yeh poori tarah se na, ladki ki mahavari pe depend hota hai, yadi woh bilkul nirdharit hai ya nahin jiski vajah se bohot hi risk ka kaam bhi hai. Yadi aap bina kisi protection ke ya bina surakhsha ke sex ki soch rahi hai toh shayad aap un dino ki baat kar rahi hain jin mein bachcha rukna mushkil hai. Yeh ho toh sakta hai lekin yeh poori tarha se surakshit nahin mana jaata hai. Yadi aap pregnancy ke risk se bachna chahti hai to kisi aur tarike ke mukaable condom ka istemal hi easy aur safe tarika hai https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Anupurna beti, sex se koi nuksaan nahi jab tak ki wo safe sex hai, yaani poori samjhdaari dono logo ki sehmati aur safety ke sath kiya gaya sex ho. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Suniye zara Bachha ladka hoga ya ladki yeh nirdharit karne ka koi bhi tarika nahi hai. Aur na hi BETA peda karne ka samjhe? Aur waise bhi bachha ladka ho ya ladki bus swasth hona chhaiye. Zara apna chintan swasth kijiye! Shaayad aap yeh bhi jaante hon ki bachcha ladka hoga ya ladki yeh kewal mardon ke shukranu hi tay kartey hain, ki un mein X chromosome hai ya Y. https://lovematters.in/en/comment/94271#comment-94271 Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Meri patni ko operation se bacchi hui hai Mai ab kab sex kar sakta hun. codom use karke plz rply mam Mai apka bahut abhari rahunga plzz aunty rply kariye
Preetam beta, pehle toh doctor se milkar yeh Nishchint kar lo ki yadi sab theek hai toh kuch sawadhaniyo ka istemal karte hue aap sex kar sakti hain, Lekin Jab aap tayyar feel karein, ready hon, koi dard ya takleef mein na hon… aur yaad rakhiye, ki aap kabhi bhi pregnant ho sakte hain. So take precautions. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-after-pregnancy-how-can-i-tell-him-im-not-ready Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Zaira khan
Sun, 10/22/2017 - 13:20
Mam me v pregnant hu main last date hui thi 22 augest me to mein janna chati hoon ka me husband ka sath sex kar sakti hoon mujhe koi dard nhi hote h aur na he koi takleef to me sex kar sakti hoon plz mam reply me
Bete shuru se third month tak aur phir saatvein mahene se le kar, Iss samay avoid kijiye. Jo aapko ko pasand ho woh hi kijiye, jo doctor salaah de woh bhi samajh lijiye. Aur dekho bête behtar hoga ki aap condom ka istemaal karein. Ya phir discharge andar NA hone dein. Aur haan! Last months mein definitely safety rakhiye. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Mam main roj might marta hun mera L**d pura kamjor pad gaya h jyada time sex nhi Hota dalne se pehle hi discharged ho jata hun Please kuchh upay bataye
Vaibhav beta, aapki problem ki wajah hastmaithun nahin ho sakti kyunki hastmaithun ek safe/surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating https://lovematters.in/hi/news/i-could-masturbate-anytime-anywhere https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/are-my-sex-problems-caused-by-masturbation Relax! Jaldi viryapaat hone se koi baat nahin, don’t worry. Toh sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lo- usko time de do. Aur yadi shareer mein uttejna adhik ho, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh sheegra hi patan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisi stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay, yaani bete ki pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaen karna , jinse dono ko anand mile, apne partner ki uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hast maithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehle jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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