man in problem
Shutterstock/Thaninee Chuensomchit

My erection trouble - which doc to see?

By Roli Mahajan Tuesday, July 24, 2018 - 07:30
As kids, don't we all love joking about the sexologist advertisements on the streets? 'Trouble with your private parts? Call for help!' But when Abhinav really had trouble 'performing' in bed with his girlfriend, he had no idea where to go for help.

As an Indian guy, *Abhinav felt the pressure to be a sexpert. What he needed was someone to talk to, not expensive Viagra.

I couldn't please her


So about six months back when I had a girlfriend there were times we made love. Colleagues and friends looked at me with envy. But little did they know that our paradise was jinxed.

There were times when I felt I had to be the virile person that my girlfriend wanted me to be, so much so that under all the pressure I would not be able to get an erection. I worried that as my sexual experience was limited to this one girl, what if I couldn’t please her?

Dilemma


We parted ways two months back and I confess that my insecurity, as well as the pressure to be the ‘know it all about sex’ guy, played some part in this breakup. I still feel hurt when I think about her. But the worst injury was the fear that there was something physically wrong with me – or rather with my penis. After all, why had I not been able to perform on demand like (I guess) most people?

I wanted to talk to someone about it, but who? I wanted to go to a doctor to get myself checked but that in itself was a dilemma. If there was something seriously wrong then how would I deal with it? And if I didn’t go at all then I wouldn’t know and would be left doubting my abilities.

Chicken out?


An extra problem was that I just didn’t know any doctors who specialises in the male reproductive system. I searched on Google and found the number of a sexologist with some good reviews near my house. I gathered my courage and went to visit him.

When I entered the waiting room all I could think was did all these guys have the same problem as I do? I hoped no one would recognise me if they saw me on the street. Should I just chicken out? Anyway, I’d paid some 1000 rupees for the consultation and the banker in me gave me the guts to wait for my appointment.



Brisk


I told the sexologist in the briefest and most casual way about how I didn’t always get an erection when my girlfriend and I wanted to have sex. He was brisk and I couldn’t speak about all my fears. He was writing while I was speaking and then he said, 'You should take this 13,000 rupee medicine from the medicine counter outside.' I would be getting no receipt or prescription for this. I was stunned.

One part of my brain was tempted to buy the medicine but the other part was alarmed at having to pay so much. I wanted to call someone and ask if this was genuine – should I pay to buy the medicine? But how would I tell any of my friends about why I needed to buy these 13,000 rupee pills? I went home trying to tell myself that nothing was wrong with me, the sexologist was a farce.

 

Long conversation


At home, I logged into the internet out of habit. And it was then that on Facebook I learnt about a friend who was trying to spread awareness about prostate cancer. Through the site, he was recommending I learnt about ‘urology’ and that they could look at my genitals to help me figure out my problem.

I was scared but I looked up a urologist. I met this old gentleman who heard my entire tale, invited confidences, examined me. I was perfectly fine, he said, no tests were required. There was no problem with my penis, it was in my mind. The pressure to perform had led to my self-doubts and erection problems. We did have a long conversation about girls, penis problems and how I could visit him anytime I had any doubts.

I wish everyone a doctor like that fellow. And now I know which doctor to consult in times of male reproductive health troubles. At least anytime that it is related to penises.

This article was first published on May 3, 2013

*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.

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Monu bete is skin ko nahataye samaye halkaye se pichay kar ke saaf karna hota hai jissey ki waha safai bani raheye, yadi aisaye karney mein koi zyada takleef ya blood aa raaha hai toh ek doctor se mill lijiye iskaye baare mein. Aur zyada yaha padhiye : https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/penis https://lovematters.in/hi/our-bodies/male-body/mens-hygiene Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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