erection
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I have erection problems – what are your tips Auntyji?

By Auntyji Wednesday, November 18, 2020 - 05:30
It’s embarrassing but I am having serious problems with getting erections. Not always but sometimes. This wasn’t the case earlier though. Am I getting some condition? What can I do? It’s really embarrassing! Help! – Sushil (28), Mumbai.

Auntyji says… chalo bhai we have found the one thing that freaks out the average Indian male – erectile dysfunction. Now erectile dysfunction, simply put, is the inability to get or maintain any sort of erection before or during sexual activity, and needs to be looked at by a doctor. What you’re suffering suffering from, phases of lesser erections – kabhi haan, kabhi na types – could be due to so many other reasons. Let’s discuss a few…

Identity crisis?

Beta Sushil, let’s begin from the beginning. “It’s so embarrassing!” You have said it two times in four sentences, so first you better try and get over that. If it makes you so ashamed of yourself, it means a few things to me.

The first one – is your identity defined by how many times the flag is hoisted in a day? Not any country flag o jhaleya! Is your identity “Susheel Joshi – Erection intact”? Hopefully not! So get over the “so embarrassing” “it’s not happening” rut. It’s ok, it’s a phase, chill jee.

'Bad' habits

Now, while alcohol may increase desire, it is known to reduce performance. Are you getting a bit too much of the tipple? Responsible drinking is acceptable, but if it is over the top it may be impacting your performance in various ways.

Saath hee hai, smoking, oh ho terrible habit that, and has an effect on maintaining erections. And by the way, smokers, if your partners are still making out with you despite this habit, they must really be into you. It’s not very charming to kiss a mouth that smells of Davidoffs or Milds!

Lifestyle issues

Now jee Sushil, do you suffer any kind of medical problems? Diabetes? Depression? Any dawa you are on? Ok then, what about tiredness? Fatigue? Just plain exhaustion? All good enough causes for nothing staying up – all laying down ji! Jab banda hee erect nahin ho sakta toh what will a body part do, hain?

Thoda lifestyle change karna hoga beta. Come on, you can do it! Get out those walking shoes, grab your partner and off you both go for a walk and a small run. Maybe get a yoga instructor, maybe grab a film once in a while and definitely make a date night! Just talk about fun things and people – chote mote pleasures... host a party, socialise, hain jee? There’s a lot to look forward to beta... not just be overwhelmed by this occasional occurrence.

Partner perfect

But beta, the biggest sex buster could be your relationship. If you are doing well there, then things will improve dramatically but if your relationship is going through some roller coaster moments, this is bound to happen.

So do an inventory check – are you both happy? Is everything pleasant? How are you connecting? For sure this must be a cause of some tension. How are you handling it? Are you being forever “embarrassed” or are you not bothered or for fear of not being able to get it up, you are avoiding sex and intimacy... does any of this sound familiar?

Heaps of homework

So what you need to do is relax and get over the shame. It’s awkward no doubt, but it is also a circle, I tell you. You are anxious that you won’t be able to do it and this anxiety causes further dysfunction. It happens again, it gets confirmed, you get anxious again and the cycle continues. So this cycle needs to be broken at once.

Next thing: your partner is a key player. If they are running you down, making you feel worse, making exasperated noises, that is not going to help the situation at all. So lovers of downers, pick yourself up and get your act together. Your man needs your support and vote, not your jabs and taunts!

Intimacy is the key and that definitely does not mean sex. Sex may or may not happen, worry not! You must enjoy some moments of togetherness, sweetness, laughter, thode tears, even small gila shikva. Some fun food, some films, some tareef of each other will go a long way in bringing you close and most importantly reducing your anxiety and worry. So, yes, you have a lot to do. So ho jao shuru and band karo yeh mayoosi!

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.

This article was first published on August 19, 2014. 

Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction? Would you like to ask Auntyji a question? Leave a comment below or please ask LM experts on our discussion forum. We are also on Instagram, YouTube and Twitter. 

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Comments
Namaste aunty ji..muje apse ye suggestion chahiye tha ki..meri age 20 hai or main apne bf se shadi karna chahti hun.par ghar wale abhi ready nahi hai shadi ko wo 5year tk wait ko bol rahe bt mera bf or uske ghrwale itna wait ni kar skte kya aap sahi suggest kr skte muje plzzz
Bete Naina lekin aap khud bhee toh sochiye ki aap kewal 20 varsh kee hain apke career apki padhai ka kya hoga. Yadi aapke partner aapse pyar karte hain toh aapsi sehmati se koi na koi uchit kadam zarur utahyenge jisse aapko bhee madd mill jaye. Bete shaadi ki khushi toh tabhee hai na jab aap iske liye mentally, emotionally tyya hain hain na? Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
aryan anand
Sun, 04/24/2016 - 07:15
aunty ji mera ling me kuch nas(vein) ubhar gaye hain jisse mera ling thoda tedha dikhta hai. Ye Koi serious problem hai kya?
Aryan beta, ling ke size mein ek apna teda pann hona is quite common bete don't worry isse koi samsya hoti nahin hai. Yeh padhiye zara: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/penis-shapes-and-sizesc Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Yeh toh aap dono ki marzi par depend karta hai bete lekin yeh samh lijiye ki sex ka maqsad kewal manronjan tak hee seemit hai isse asal jeevan par laagu na karein. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
wazir alam
Mon, 06/13/2016 - 18:08
namaste unty g mera age 22 hai aur mera penish 6'' inch h mai jab 16 sal ka tha tab se muth marne ka lat lag gya hai ab koi bhi romantic movis dekhta hu to birj pat gir jata h aur aur apne aapko kamjor mahsus karta hu aur dar lagta kahi meri shadi ke bad dikat to na hoga please unty help me
Bete wazir alam, Hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti. Yadi chahein toh bahut see activities hain, jinmein aap samye guzaar sakte hain jaise ki khel – games, gym ya koi hobbies. Yeh bhee padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating https://lovematters.in/hi/news/masturbation-myths-busted https://lovematters.in/hi/news/masturbation-bad-habit https://lovematters.in/hi/news/pakistans-dr-sex-busts-masturbation-myths Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Don't blame masturbation. It can't be because masturbation is is a safe way to satisfy yourself. It would do no harm nor any illness. Are you sure you are not under any kind of stress/tension? Please understand that it’s necessary to be stress-free to have sex. Read about this here:https://lovematters.in/en/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/en/news/erection-trouble-where-turn If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Anuj kumar
Sun, 12/17/2017 - 21:46
Aunty ji..Namste Mera age 31 years hai meri av sadi nhi hui hai..mera ling me puri trh khada nhi ho pata hai mera mn to hota hai lekin puri trh khada nhi ho pata hai or mai bhut presan hu..plz aap kuch solution dijiye..ager koi Nuska hai to btaiye or khan pan me kuch khana hai to btaiye..
Anuj bete, kahin aap kisi tension, pressure mein toh nahi hain na? Yeh samjh lijiye ki sex karne ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête. Iss baare mein aur yaha padh lo : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Aunty ji mera ling puri trh tight nhi hota or hme bhut tension hoti hai mrea age 31 years hai or meri av sadi nhi hui hai kya kre aunty ji sadi k bad bhut problem hogi..
Anuj bete, kahin aap kisi tension, pressure mein toh nahi hain na? Yeh samjh lijiye ki sex karne ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête. Iss baare mein aur yaha padh lo : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
wife ke pass rahne pr bar bar erection hota he or halka sa pain hota he shadi abi 2 month hue he.or hum dono abi sath me kuch din hi rah pate he fir bahut dino bad milte he. wife pihar chali jati he. ghrwale jyada din nhi rokte he. so 8-10 din tk sath rahte he to roj sex karte he 2-3 bar but din bhar wife ko dekhte hi tight ho jata he fir drd hota he halka halka sa
Ram bete, ling mein tanaav hone par halka dard hona common hain. Ismein chinta ki koi baat nahi. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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