erection
© Love Matters

I have erection problems – what are your tips Auntyji?

By Auntyji Wednesday, November 18, 2020 - 05:30
It’s embarrassing but I am having serious problems with getting erections. Not always but sometimes. This wasn’t the case earlier though. Am I getting some condition? What can I do? It’s really embarrassing! Help! – Sushil (28), Mumbai.

Auntyji says… chalo bhai we have found the one thing that freaks out the average Indian male – erectile dysfunction. Now erectile dysfunction, simply put, is the inability to get or maintain any sort of erection before or during sexual activity, and needs to be looked at by a doctor. What you’re suffering suffering from, phases of lesser erections – kabhi haan, kabhi na types – could be due to so many other reasons. Let’s discuss a few…

Identity crisis?

Beta Sushil, let’s begin from the beginning. “It’s so embarrassing!” You have said it two times in four sentences, so first you better try and get over that. If it makes you so ashamed of yourself, it means a few things to me.

The first one – is your identity defined by how many times the flag is hoisted in a day? Not any country flag o jhaleya! Is your identity “Susheel Joshi – Erection intact”? Hopefully not! So get over the “so embarrassing” “it’s not happening” rut. It’s ok, it’s a phase, chill jee.

'Bad' habits

Now, while alcohol may increase desire, it is known to reduce performance. Are you getting a bit too much of the tipple? Responsible drinking is acceptable, but if it is over the top it may be impacting your performance in various ways.

Saath hee hai, smoking, oh ho terrible habit that, and has an effect on maintaining erections. And by the way, smokers, if your partners are still making out with you despite this habit, they must really be into you. It’s not very charming to kiss a mouth that smells of Davidoffs or Milds!

Lifestyle issues

Now jee Sushil, do you suffer any kind of medical problems? Diabetes? Depression? Any dawa you are on? Ok then, what about tiredness? Fatigue? Just plain exhaustion? All good enough causes for nothing staying up – all laying down ji! Jab banda hee erect nahin ho sakta toh what will a body part do, hain?

Thoda lifestyle change karna hoga beta. Come on, you can do it! Get out those walking shoes, grab your partner and off you both go for a walk and a small run. Maybe get a yoga instructor, maybe grab a film once in a while and definitely make a date night! Just talk about fun things and people – chote mote pleasures... host a party, socialise, hain jee? There’s a lot to look forward to beta... not just be overwhelmed by this occasional occurrence.

Partner perfect

But beta, the biggest sex buster could be your relationship. If you are doing well there, then things will improve dramatically but if your relationship is going through some roller coaster moments, this is bound to happen.

So do an inventory check – are you both happy? Is everything pleasant? How are you connecting? For sure this must be a cause of some tension. How are you handling it? Are you being forever “embarrassed” or are you not bothered or for fear of not being able to get it up, you are avoiding sex and intimacy... does any of this sound familiar?

Heaps of homework

So what you need to do is relax and get over the shame. It’s awkward no doubt, but it is also a circle, I tell you. You are anxious that you won’t be able to do it and this anxiety causes further dysfunction. It happens again, it gets confirmed, you get anxious again and the cycle continues. So this cycle needs to be broken at once.

Next thing: your partner is a key player. If they are running you down, making you feel worse, making exasperated noises, that is not going to help the situation at all. So lovers of downers, pick yourself up and get your act together. Your man needs your support and vote, not your jabs and taunts!

Intimacy is the key and that definitely does not mean sex. Sex may or may not happen, worry not! You must enjoy some moments of togetherness, sweetness, laughter, thode tears, even small gila shikva. Some fun food, some films, some tareef of each other will go a long way in bringing you close and most importantly reducing your anxiety and worry. So, yes, you have a lot to do. So ho jao shuru and band karo yeh mayoosi!

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.

This article was first published on August 19, 2014. 

Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction? Would you like to ask Auntyji a question? Leave a comment below or please ask LM experts on our discussion forum. We are also on Instagram, YouTube and Twitter. 

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Comments
Namaste aunty ji..muje apse ye suggestion chahiye tha ki..meri age 20 hai or main apne bf se shadi karna chahti hun.par ghar wale abhi ready nahi hai shadi ko wo 5year tk wait ko bol rahe bt mera bf or uske ghrwale itna wait ni kar skte kya aap sahi suggest kr skte muje plzzz
Bete Naina lekin aap khud bhee toh sochiye ki aap kewal 20 varsh kee hain apke career apki padhai ka kya hoga. Yadi aapke partner aapse pyar karte hain toh aapsi sehmati se koi na koi uchit kadam zarur utahyenge jisse aapko bhee madd mill jaye. Bete shaadi ki khushi toh tabhee hai na jab aap iske liye mentally, emotionally tyya hain hain na? Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
बेटे इस स्किन को नहाते समय हलके से पीछे कर के सॉफ करना होता है जिससे की वहां साफ़- सफाई बनी रहे, यदि ऐसा करते में कोई ज्यादा तकलीफ़ या ब्लड आ रहा है तो एक डॉक्टर से मिल लीजिये! इसके बारे में और ज़्यादा यहा पढ़िए: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/penis https://lovematters.in/hi/our-bodies/male-body/mens-hygiene यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तो हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, " जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों. https://lovematters.in/en/forum
aryan anand
Sun, 04/24/2016 - 07:15
aunty ji mera ling me kuch nas(vein) ubhar gaye hain jisse mera ling thoda tedha dikhta hai. Ye Koi serious problem hai kya?
Aryan beta, ling ke size mein ek apna teda pann hona is quite common bete don't worry isse koi samsya hoti nahin hai. Yeh padhiye zara: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/penis-shapes-and-sizes Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Yeh toh aap dono ki marzi par depend karta hai bete lekin yeh samh lijiye ki sex ka maqsad kewal manronjan tak hee seemit hai isse asal jeevan par laagu na karein. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
wazir alam
Mon, 06/13/2016 - 18:08
namaste unty g mera age 22 hai aur mera penish 6'' inch h mai jab 16 sal ka tha tab se muth marne ka lat lag gya hai ab koi bhi romantic movis dekhta hu to birj pat gir jata h aur aur apne aapko kamjor mahsus karta hu aur dar lagta kahi meri shadi ke bad dikat to na hoga please unty help me
Bete wazir alam, Hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti. Yadi chahein toh bahut see activities hain, jinmein aap samye guzaar sakte hain jaise ki khel – games, gym ya koi hobbies. Yeh bhee padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating https://lovematters.in/hi/news/masturbation-myths-busted https://lovematters.in/hi/news/masturbation-bad-habit https://lovematters.in/hi/news/pakistans-dr-sex-busts-masturbation-myths Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Mera ling pehle bahot hard aur erection rehta hai maine kbhi sex nhi kiya but mera pennis erect hote hai apne aap erection koh deta hai mujhe high bp ki problem hai kahi isse to nhi ho raha hai
Bete agar aapko lagta hai ki BP iski wazah hai toh ho bhi sakta hai, iske bare mein ek panjikrit doctor ki salaah le lijiye. Lekin kabhi kabhi work load, tension ya pressure ke karan bhi aisa ho sakta hai. Yeh samjh lijiye ki sex karney ke liye ya ling me tanav aane ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai. Ise padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Mahesh bête kahin aap kisi tension, pressure mein toh nahi hai na? Yeh samjh lijiye ki sex karney ke liye ya ling me tanav aane ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête. Body ko apna kaam karne dijiye bête - aur yadi koi bimaari na ho to - ye thik ho jana chahiye. Ise padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Don't blame masturbation. It can't be because masturbation is is a safe way to satisfy yourself. It would do no harm nor any illness. Are you sure you are not under any kind of stress/tension? Please understand that it’s necessary to be stress-free to have sex. Read about this here:https://lovematters.in/en/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/en/news/erection-trouble-where-turn If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
बेटा यदि शरीर में उत्तेजना अधिक होगी, सेक्स की भावना ज़्यादा होगी तो शीघ्र पतन होने की संभावना भी अधिक ही होगी.ऐसी स्थिती में, पार्ट्नर पर फोकस बढ़ाना, फोरप्ले , यानी की प्रवेश करने से पहले बहुत से अलग अलग क्रियाएं करना , जिनसे दोनो को आनंद मिले, अपने पार्ट्नर की उत्तेजना बढ़ाना, यह सब activites सबसे ज़रूरी हैं. इसके इलावा, पार्ट्नर के साथ सेक्स करने से पहले, एक बार हस्त्मेथुन कर सकते हैं, उतने समय पहले जीतने में लिंग में तनाव आ जाए. कॉंडम का इस्तेमाल भी जल्दी discharge में help करता है. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तो हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, " जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों. https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Anuj kumar
Sun, 12/17/2017 - 21:46
Aunty ji..Namste Mera age 31 years hai meri av sadi nhi hui hai..mera ling me puri trh khada nhi ho pata hai mera mn to hota hai lekin puri trh khada nhi ho pata hai or mai bhut presan hu..plz aap kuch solution dijiye..ager koi Nuska hai to btaiye or khan pan me kuch khana hai to btaiye..
Anuj bete, kahin aap kisi tension, pressure mein toh nahi hain na? Yeh samjh lijiye ki sex karne ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête. Iss baare mein aur yaha padh lo : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Aunty ji mera ling puri trh tight nhi hota or hme bhut tension hoti hai mrea age 31 years hai or meri av sadi nhi hui hai kya kre aunty ji sadi k bad bhut problem hogi..
Anuj bete, kahin aap kisi tension, pressure mein toh nahi hain na? Yeh samjh lijiye ki sex karne ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête. Iss baare mein aur yaha padh lo : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
wife ke pass rahne pr bar bar erection hota he or halka sa pain hota he shadi abi 2 month hue he.or hum dono abi sath me kuch din hi rah pate he fir bahut dino bad milte he. wife pihar chali jati he. ghrwale jyada din nhi rokte he. so 8-10 din tk sath rahte he to roj sex karte he 2-3 bar but din bhar wife ko dekhte hi tight ho jata he fir drd hota he halka halka sa
Ram bete, ling mein tanaav hone par halka dard hona common hain. Ismein chinta ki koi baat nahi. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Muze sex karte time tension ata hai ki mera ling khada hoga ki nahi hoga yahi vechar sex ke Doran ata hai 2 bar sex karane ka tray kiya but hoga ki nhi hoga is tension se fail ho raha hu Kay karu bataye plz🙏
Akash bete toh tension mat lijiye! Tension ya stress ke karan bhi ling mein tanav ki kami ki samasya ho sakti hai. yeh samjh lijiye ki ling mein tanav ya sex karnay ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête. Jis baaray mein aur yaha padh lijiye : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-have-erection-problems-what-are-your-tips-auntyji Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Aanti ji mere ling me Aethn si rhti he or muje sex ke liye icha nhi hoti he or jb bhi me poran dekhta hu to mere ling me tnaw Aa jata he or phle jesa nhi hota jese phle to subh me kbhi bhi tanaw Aajta tha par Ab nhi Aata pure din sust rhta he bataiye ye kya problam he
Bete kabhi kabhi work load, tension ya pressure ke karan bhi aisa ho sakta hai. Agar kisi na kisi waqk penis mein tanav aa raha ho toh itni bhi chinta karne ki zarurat nahi hai bête. Body ko apna kaam karne dijiye bête - aur yadi koi bimaari na ho to - ye thik ho jana chahiye. Ise padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Mera ling bada hai jab ne porn dekhta hu to kada ho jata hai lekin jab wife ke sath sex karta hu to tab ling kada nhi hota ab kya maru
Arman puttar kahin aap apni wife ke saamne kisi tension, pressure mein toh nahi aa jate hain na? Tension ya pressure ke karan bhee ling me tanav ki kami ki samasya ho sakti hai. Yeh samjh lijiye ki ling me tanav ke liye ya sex ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête. Jis baare mein aur yaha padh lijiye : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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