Auntyji
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Are my sex problems caused by masturbation?

By Auntyji Wednesday, March 6, 2013 - 00:53
Q: I don’t get proper erection when I begin making love to my girlfriend. And later I have trouble ejaculating inside the vagina. Is it because I used to masturbate too much? Pritam (22), Digboi.

Auntyji says... My dear Pritam, you are suffering from rather common troubles. The simple answer to your question is ‘no’. And the simple advice to help you is easier said than done: ‘don’t worry’.

Anyway, you're certainly not alone, as Love Matters pointed out a while back: erection and orgasm trouble go together.

Many men who have trouble getting an erection also have trouble having an orgasm. And although we tend to think of premature ejaculation as the man's problem, research shows that many men have trouble climaxing too.

It seems like you have three broad problems: erection, ejaculation and the idea that there is something wrong with masturbation.

My suggestions: enjoy plenty of foreplay for a proper erection, don’t put pressure on yourself to ejaculate, and definitely don’t think about any ill effects or even after-effects of masturbation.

Harmless
Let me start with the last issue first. Masturbation can only cause orgasms, happiness and satisfaction. It’s a completely harmless activity unless you’re spending so much time doing it every day that it’s interfering with your work or family life.

It’s a favourite activity of some of the most virile men known to me. So my darling puttarji, don’t think about its impact on your sex life beyond a slow-down in sexual desire for a few hours after a good session.

Passion killer
Then there is your issue with getting an erection. There are different possible causes of this – it can be physical or psychological.

But one thing is clear. When you begin making love, if you are worrying about whether you will have trouble getting an erection or have trouble ejaculating, and whether all this trouble is because you’ve been masturbating too much… well, it’s pretty much a guaranteed passion killer that would make many an erection droop!

Please her
Now, I am sure that you’re familiar with the saying, jaldi ka kaam, sahitaan ka. So basically don’t try to rush anything. Take it slowly and build it up steadily.

I would suggest plenty of foreplay, and not too much worry about erections and ejaculation. And Pritam beta, my special trick for you is to put the focus on pleasing your partner and finding out how to give her great orgasms. That will also turn you on of course. And in return your sizzling partner will be keen to work on arousing you. It will also help make clear to her that your erection and ejaculation worries are not because you don’t find her attractive. (Though why not tell her anyway?)

Enough arousal should help take care of your slow ejaculation as well. But there are no rules about how long things should last. What is important is whether you are both enjoying making love.

Anxious
Now, back to masturbation. It’s true that masturbation can be used to decrease the sensitivity of the penis. This can be useful for men whose problem is ejaculating too soon, as I wrote about recently here.

And it’s true that delayed ejaculation can be caused by a getting used to very particular of masturbating. Basically the sensations that you feel while masturbating are very different from what you feel during intercourse, depending on the pressure, angle and grip.

But it’s more likely that your trouble has nothing to do with masturbation, and more to do with feeling anxious.

Many ways to pleasure
Remember there is no rule that says you have to orgasm only during intercourse – whether you’re a man or a woman. There are many ways to make love, and your partner can pleasure you in many ways – with her hands, her mouth, her breasts, her vagina. Show her what feels good to you. And encourage her to show you what pleases her.

Relax a lot more and enjoy the stimulation. Work on your and your girlfriend’s arousal and you’ll be rewarded. Just don’t expect any quick fix results. Just like sexual rhythms, slow and steady does it.

Did you find this useful?

Comments
Anonymous
Sun, 04/14/2013 - 21:29
Auntyji Because of masturbation at quick speed the frenulum got many a times gradually becoz of many cuts it has got dettached from the glans it pained after every cut it even pained for some time
Karan Khanna
Wed, 03/11/2015 - 13:04
Hi, my name is Karan Khanna, I live in Delhi, m 25 yrs. old single boy, m very upset n tense. mai pichle 4-5 saal se kafi zada masturbation kr chuka hu jisk karan mai kafi weak ho gya hu, muje aisa lgta h, n mera "Cum" baut kum reh gya h n i think kafi had tak khatm hota ja rha h, so m very tesne, meri health bhi kafi kharab ho chuki h n i think uska reason ye bhi ho skta h, now m very thin, so i need help, mai ye janna chahta hu ki mai apni is chiz ko ab phir se kaise thik kr skta hu? muje koi natural tarika btaiye, koi natural diet, natural food & natural exercises n yog btaiye jisse mai easily is chiz ki recovery kr skun n improvement kr skun, n jisse mera stamina, health, sexual stamina, sexual health n sex drive phir se increase n improve ho ske n jisse meri health bhi ban sake, n wo "cum" jo kahtm hota ja rha h n ab phle jaisa ni rha wo phir se kaise phle ki tarah bnaya ja skta h? I want to knw that what should I do & how to increase my health & how to recover my sexual weakness, agr isk bre me koi muje information de ske n meri help kr ske then i wil always so happy & then meri life thik ho jaegi, any person who can some help me, then he can reply me on my email id, m waiting for reply, my email id is - ([email protected])
Karan bete Hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareek ahai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti aur phir Yeh koi beemari thodi na hai- Lekin haan, sirf iske hee bare mein saara waqt sochna, Lekin haan, sirf iske hee bare mein saara waqt sochna aapki baki ki zindingi se aapko door ya laaparvaah kar na de, isliye iske bare mein itna sochene ki bhi avashayakta nahin. So koi aur activities kar lo, movies – BF Nahin – dost- yaar, books, gym, exercise… enjoy karo aur relaxed raho. http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating
MK (17 years) Delhi
Sat, 06/13/2015 - 15:08
auntyji mera penis na left side ki taraf bent h....kya isse meri sex life m problem aa skti h...mujhe lgta h ki mai father ni ban paunga...plz btayeye mujhe :-(
Ling ke size mein ek apna teda pann hona is quite common bete don't worry isse koi samsya hoti nahin hai. Yeh padhiye zara: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/penis-shapes-and-sizesc Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Dear Kanna, Masturbation is a safe way to satisfy yourself. It would do no harm nor any illness. But there are many other activities where you can spend or utilize your time such as sports, games or pursue your hobbies. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
i used to masturbate dialy once ,,,my friends told me it causes problems after marriage,sperm count decreases,erection problem..is this true???please suggest me masturbation is better or not
Dear Kishore, relax! These are all myths. Masturbation is a safe way to satisfy yourself. It would do no harm nor any illness. But there are many other activities where you can spend or utilize your time such as sports, games or pursue your hobbies. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
There’s no one way that one can prescribe dude!! All I can say is just don’t fuss about it, keep yourself busy and calm and well do other things as well, such as going out, some sports etc… so chill dude. I hope you know, there is no big deal about masturbation, it’s not a sin or a crime, so take it easy. https://lovematters.in/en/news/masturbation-harmful https://lovematters.in/en/news/masturbation-bad-habit https://lovematters.in/en/resource/men-masturbating If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Maine aj tak sex ni kiya but Mai 5 to 7 years se daily masturbate kar raha hu jis vajah se mera penis kafi curve ho gya hai now I fear ki mujhe partner ke sath sex krne me koi problem na a jaye pls guide me ,kahi payeroni disease to nahi ho jayegi
Farukh beta, relax!! Ling ke size mein ek apna teda pann hona is quite common bete don't worry isse koi samsya hoti nahin hai. Iske liye hastmaithun ko zimmedaar mat maaniye. Yeh padhiye zara: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/penis-shapes-and-sizesc Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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