Why is my girlfriend faking orgasms?

By Auntyji Tuesday, July 31, 2012 - 21:14
Q: I found out my girlfriend has been faking orgasms. She’s great in bed, never complains, says she loves me. But I heard that most women's vaginas contract during orgasm – and hers doesn't. How can I fix the problem? Amaresh, Puri

Auntyji says… Beta Amaresh, why fear when your Auntyji is here? Now let’s take one step at a time and try to solve this one for you. But first I would just like to wonder aloud about how are you so sure that she is faking her orgasms. I know that many reports say that as many as half the women in the world faking orgasms them. But Auntyji's very humble request is to keep to the facts and not to jump to any conclusions.

I do understand how you must be feeling about the thing. I guess that for a lot of men out there it's a blow to their manhood. But it seems like you’re actually worried about your girlfriend’s pleasure too. You young boys really know how to take care of the ladies. Wah wah, way to go ji. But having said that, you should be extremely cautious before you convince yourself about what your girl is up to. If you ask me, such doubts can colour your thoughts forever and you might start reading things incorrectly.

What a girl wants
Now let’s investigate the matter a bit in detail. Do understand that this a rather pesky issue. Maybe ask her indirectly through the classic ‘my friend has a problem’ build-up. Talking things out is the key to a successful relationship.

Conversation is the key
The conversation will most likely be very awkward but it will solve a lot of things. You men are usually bottled up and that complicates things further. It’s best to come out and talk about such tricky situations. But if you manage to bring her into a comfort zone she will certainly tell you why she is faking it if she is doing it at all.

I don't know if you're aware of it but some girls have problems having orgasms because of their own stress levels. Once you talk to her you might figure out the real problem. And together you can work on solving the problem. I can think of some fun solutions here. Yes, wink wink, nudge nudge.

More than penetration
Did you know that only about a third of women usually have orgasms during intercourse? Most women need their clitoris stimulating to make them climax, either by hand during intercourse, or as a separate part of lovemaking.

Maybe the problem is just that you’re putting the emphasis on her having an orgasm just from your penis? In fact there are plenty of other ways for her to have an orgasm that are lots of fun. Think masturbation, think oral sex. There are lots of tips here on ways to make love.

Puttar ji don't panic and make any rash decisions. Grab a glass of Rooh Afza and take a deep breath. Don't worry about fixing things that might not be broken. One foolproof way to improve the situation is to make a conscious effort to make her feel loved. Reassure her at all times that you're there for her no matter what. Believe me things will look up very soon. And within no time you guys will be able untangle these knots and start afresh.

Would you ever fake pleasure to please your partner? Comment here or join in the facebook discussion!

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