Orgasm troubles for women
Shutterstock/Bevan Goldswain

My first orgasm... at last!

By Nehaa Singh Khamboj Monday, September 8, 2014 - 16:46
Roma’s been happily married for three years and says she has a super sex life. Yet until recently, she had never actually had an orgasm. None of her husband’s sexy tricks worked on her… until that one, special day. Find out how Roma finally had her first orgasm!

Roma (name changed) is a 27-year-old business woman in Patna.

“A happily married woman for three years, I’d never ever experienced an orgasm. Since I didn't know what it felt like, I didn't know what I was missing. And I was fine with it; well at least I thought I was.

“Even to my girlfriends, I’d always maintain I have a rocking sex life. Of course this mystical thing – an orgasm – would make me curious, especially when one of the girls described what it felt like to have one. I remember after one particular conversation where a girlfriend described an orgasm, I couldn’t help but feel a little envious. I mean I’m a good person, I cross my i’s and dot my t’s, so why couldn’t I enjoy this so called climax of love making?

Awards for creativity

“But it wasn't for want of trying. Ankush, my husband, and I tried all kinds of positions, foreplay and used all kinds of condoms for "maximum pleasure.” In my mind we should be getting awards for our creativity in bed but the ultimate prize, the orgasm, eluded me! In contrast, Ankush was experiencing them all the time.

“And I know he was feeling bad. Somewhere he blamed himself and thought he may not be an adequate lover. But that wasn’t true. Ankush is a gentle, kind and giving sexual partner. I couldn’t have asked for anything more and it hurt me to see him doubt himself. But I didn’t want to fake having an orgasm either. I’ve seen enough movies to know how to do it but that wouldn’t be fair to him or me.

A problem

“I had read it usually takes a woman longer to get an orgasm than a man, but three years? By now I had lost all hope. Maybe I was cursed or chosen to go through life with never experiencing an orgasm.

“Ankush and I would joke about it to lighten the mood. He’d say, “I’ll give you a free pass to have sex with another man and I’ll pay him well if you get an orgasm!” And I’d quickly retort, “My orgasm will be enough of an award for him and me!” As much as we tried to laugh it off, me not having an orgasm was a problem for our sex life.

The ultimate reward

“One day while lazing around together, Ankush started running his fingers over the back of my neck and went on gently caressing my head all the way down to till the small of my back. I started to feel all tingly and my pulse started to race. Seeing my oh-so positive reaction, Ankush started running his fingers through my entire body.

While he was touching every nook and cranny of my body with one hand he used the other to finger me very tenderly. It wasn’t the fast, rushed and sometimes hard touch of before. This was new. This was soft, slow and sweet. I could feel every itsy-bitsy touch and it made me delirious with pleasure.

He used his fingers, one at a time, to gently penetrate me. And that’s when I felt a sensation that could only be described as having an orgasm! A few minutes later when I found Ankush smiling, I didn’t know if he was happy for himself or for me!

Finally, I knew what I had been missing! And for me it was as simple as being touched in the right way. Now I just have so much more to look forward to when we make love!

The model in the picture is not Roma.

Have you experienced any troubles with reaching orgasms? Share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below or on Facebook

Did you find this useful?

Dear Roma, All you needed to do was use a vibrator (or your husband's tongue) on your clitoris. Also you can have an orgasm by yourself - try it!
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