aunty ji
Love Matters India

I only have clitoral orgasms – is that OK?

By Auntyji Thursday, July 5, 2018 - 13:56
Auntyji, I can only orgasm with clitoral stimulation. It’s fun but is getting dull. My partner and I miss the excitement. What’s wrong with me? Can you make sense of it? Anju (24), Baroda.

Auntyji says… Beta ji, what sense can anyone else make? Woh toh better done by yourself, but let’s see if we can get some semblance of it.

The truth is dear that the clitoris needs the attention it clearly deserves and unfortunately it doesn’t get enough! You are far, far from the only woman who orgasms that way – there are plenty and more. So don’t worry about it at all.

And there’s a reason why the clitoris is so sensitive and therefore so important – innumerable little nerve endings find their home in this little place and thus the heightened excitement. So chillax and enjoy.

Clit kinda gal

Now for the boredom, the hum drum. Umm hmm, I can understand that completely. What’s sex without a mix of nice and spice?! I am sure you have gone through the drills of try-try-till-you-succeed and are now affirmed that nothing but this works for you.

So to begin with dear, ease the pressure. Stop fretting so much. The more you hassle, lesser the chances of an easy orgasm, whatever the position. Do you know there are many women who ONLY orgasm clitoral? And that’s just the way they are wired. So that’s ok, is it not?

Some men and lovers can be, let’s say… cleanliness oriented. You know, they might want to keep their books on a rack, in order of lengths and breadths – which according to them is the right order. They are just wired that way, you see. Similarly, you are a clit gal and that’s an ok kinda gal, why not revel and rejoice?

Better than nothing!

Clit kinda gals can also be oral kinda gals and that’s just one of the things you both can try. You can even try the good ole vanilla kind, just ensure he gotcha where it’s good for you. In fact you can go any position, just factor the clitoris into this plan, that’s all.

Some women even go as far to say that the whole big deal about vaginal orgasms is a myth. Do you know, darling, there are also so many women who wonder what the big damn deal about sex is? They just don’t get it at all because they’re still looking for the stars and exploding bulbs when what they ought to be looking for is the good ole clitoris, you know!

Be the guide

Achcha, so what makes you feel you are limited in your sexual endeavors? Is not vaginal sex equally dull or any other, for that matter? Unless you find new ways of pleasing yourself and your partner, it’s going to get dull at some point.

So now, dear, dump the shame or shyness and be bright about what you want from sex and your partner. Tell him to get a bit smart too, and finally both of you need to just let go and enjoy each other’s bodies. As long as you know how to get there, doesn’t matter which circuitous route you take?!

Explore the small twists and turns your body feels like taking and once you are ready then get to the destination you very well know how!

Inch it up!

How is your guy in the sack? Just moaning and groaning about how hard it is to please you or trying something different as well? While I agree the man has some work to do, I think the sooner he loves his “job,” the better for both of you.

To the man: enjoy the fact that you can get her to an orgasm, mate, and that you know what she loves. Rejoice, that’s a satisfied customer you got there. Try many options, be up front and open, expand your sexual repertoire because jee, end mein toh happy ending honee hee hai, kabhi jaldi, kabhi late! Oye, now that’s a new film title, main kehaa!

Men sometimes feel that because women are not “orgasming” via vaginal, penetrative sex, where they themselves can so easily, then something is wrong with their length and breadth or that they are not macho enough, or worse, she is a lesbian in hiding. So bas ek inch oopar betaji, not everything is in penetration, you know.

And Anju, koi tension nahin, this is what is called the ‘Clitoral Truth’ and as it has been said before: let the truth prevail!

This article was first published on September 2, 2014. 

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.

What kind of orgasms have you experienced? Want to share some tips about sex positions? Leave a comment below or post a message on Facebook

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Wed, 09/03/2014 - 17:48
Auntyji...meri gf sochti hei ki...agar mera sperm uske haath pe laga ho n wo haath unknownly uske private organ ko lag gaya ya wo sperm uske wahape touch kar liya to wo pregnant ho she thnking right or wrong...pls help fast pls
Asif bete, jab hastmaithun se koi nuksaan hee nahi hai toh isse chhodna kyun? Hastmaithun rokne ka koi jadui nuskha toh hamare paas nhi h. Hum toh yahi keh sakte hain ki doosre kaaryon main dhyaan lagao,aisi bahut see activities hain, jinmein aap samya bitaa sakte hain, jaise ki khel – games, gym ya koi hobbies…ok? Zyaada chinta mat kijiye, hastmaithun ek surakshit tareeka h khud ko antusht karne ka, aur isse koi nuksaan nhi hota.. Yaha padhiye: Yadi aapke man mein koi bhee aur sawaal hain aur aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon!
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