© Love Matters

How can I ask my bf to give me orgasms?

By Auntyji Tuesday, August 8, 2017 - 17:43
Hi Auntyji, my boyfriend seems disinterested in working towards my orgasms. He says it's too time consuming! I feel a little let down... what can I do? Divya, 23 years, Kolkata.

Auntyji says...'Time consuming? Ahaaa, so now you need to have an orgasm on call? Is that what the man wants?'

Missed the memo

So as you know, women’s bodies are rather different from men’s bodies, the sexual response cycle for women is slower than men. This we are aware of. So to get you to hit the right notes, the man will have to smarten up his act a little bit. It’s not really as straightforward as men’s bodies! Women's bodies need to be given attention – in fact attention has to be given to special places – surely he knows that? Or perhaps not!

Up for negotiation

I must say that I am a little confused – to say the least. The man wants to get orgasms but not provide any? When it’s about him – he would like you to 'serve up' and when it’s about you, it’s 'help yourself'! Yeh kya baat hui, beta? Divya,  a man who has a lazy attitude to sex and pleasure-giving is not a very fun guy to know. Orgasms are for everyone and both partners ought to be committed to a give and get. Not that every sex act must culminate in an orgasm – sometimes the journey is better than the destination,  but that is negotiable – not avoidable! He is happy to get one, but too bored to give you one?

Wake up Sid

... or whatever your man's name is. Divya, to me, this sounds like a bit of a 'couldn’t care less' attitude towards you, your body and your desires.  What does that tell you about the lazy boy? A man who thinks your body and your desires are not worth spending extra time and effort on. Bhai, who are you? Raja Kaamdev from the medieval ages – where women’s bodies were for enjoying but they better not want it back? Wah wah – yeh hai mardon waali baat? In the year 1643, not 2017!

A chance of a lifetime

Talk to the man, Divya. Ask for what’s due to you and is your right. It ought to be his pleasure to give you pleasure. Tell him that your body also has desires and that he needs to please and satisfy you in the same way as you would do for him. A little work won’t kill the man – let him get down to it - quite literally.

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the picture is a model.

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Did you find this useful?

If the sex was unsafe, then chances of pregnancy may be there. Take a home pregnancy test at the earliest. Then consult a registered doctor and see what can be done. Also, you can contact FPAI clinic information about which you can get at their website. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask”
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