I experienced my first orgasm while having sex with my husband. It was by mistake. He realised that it was the most pleasurable sex for me.
However, I'm naturally a very shy person. Perhaps that’s the reason why I wasn’t able to explain to him what made me feel good. But to his credit, he tried hard and finally managed to figure out what works for me.
Now, he can bring me to an orgasm almost every time and I feel so satisfied.
- Deepika (32), social worker.
A source of tension
Initially, when my boyfriend and I started having sex, he really didn't know how to help me reach an orgasm. After a few trials, I started guiding him and helped him along. He would always complain that it took too long.
After a while, he even stopped making that effort. That became a source of great tension between us finally leading to a break up. Months later, he came back to me and I decided to give him another chance.
When we got back, he was all sweet and caring and would ensure that I reached an orgasm first. Slowly, he got bored of the process again and stopped making me feel special. At that time, I felt I had no choice but to break up with him.
- Nikita (26), journalist.
To know more ways to help her reach an orgasm, watch this quirky stop-motion video now!
All about men
He would also force me to go down on him, but he never reciprocated the same. One day, he called me over to his house. I was upset about work and wasn’t in the mood for sex. I went over thinking that he would cheer me up, but he just wanted sex.
When I said no, he tried to get me give him a blow job. When I refused, he got angry and stopped talking to me. I ended spending all my time trying to get him to talk to me again.
Twenty minutes later, his friends came over. Turned out he already had plans and just wanted just a quickie before hitting the pubs! For him, sex was all about men. I never saw him after that.
- Aradhana (27), publisher.
Bruise their ego
I've had a couple of good experiences. However, I feel that men are unwilling to go that extra mile to make a woman feel satisfied. They also tend to take suggestions and directions in the wrong way. If you tell them what to do and how to do, it bruises their ego.
If you ask me, foreplay is the most exciting part of sex. However, it doesn't come close to the experience of an orgasm.
-Preeti (30), businesswoman.
Read our top five facts on female orgasms here!
Attention to details
I have had sex with three men so far and none of them could get me to orgasm. My last boyfriend would just stop after a while because he would get too tired. Or that he needed a break. Sometimes he would even get frustrated and blame it on me.
I was so tired that I almost believed I might never reach an orgasm with a man. Actually, I wouldn’t let subsequent men even try. Eventually, I started going out with another guy. He was sweet and took time to open up.
He was really patient with me and understood my concerns. Sex was also great with him. He paid attention to my needs and hit the right chord. We went out for three years but after that we broke up.
I haven’t had the same experience again. I have come close on a couple of occasions, but that’s about it. I don’t think any other guy can match his attention to details.
Ankita (27), architect.
*All names have been changed in the text. Views expressed in this blog are not necessarily endorsed by Love Matters.