Auntyji
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I was molested – should I tell?

By Auntyji Tuesday, April 23, 2013 - 19:58
Q: A friend’s relative molested me. I feel ashamed and guilty and don’t know what to do. Palak (15), Faridabad. Auntyji says... Palak puttar, I'm giving you the tightest jhaapi ever. Your aunty is so saddened to hear that you had to go through this.

It’s tough and unfortunately you’re by no means the only one in this situation. But I am glad that you have written to me. It is very important to get these things out of your system. Girls in our times were so scared to speak up that they would keep struggling with it internally.

Times have changed
Palak puttar, research has shown that such an experience can have a toll both physically and mentally. The affects might not show up immediately so it is very important that you tell your parents.

Talking about it will really help you get over this episode. They can also help you look for some professional help. Our partner FPA India can offer you counselling or help you find it.

Believe me there is nothing wrong in asking for help like this. Prevention is better than cure, as they say.

Times have completely changed. You don’t need to be scared of anyone. And I really do feel very strongly about this. Such ruthless people should be definitely exposed. They should be humiliated publicly so that they don’t do it again. It might not be easy to speak up especially when it happens to you for the first time. But do not worry because it is never too late.

Speak up
Let me tell a true story from my family. Growing up even I had a dreadful uncle who used to molest young girls. He molested my sister at multiple occasions. But she was never able to speak up. She had a very disturbed childhood because of him but never said a word.

You will not believe it but twenty-five years later, the same man tried to molest my sister’s daughter. But unlike her mother this girl spoke up. She told her mother about what had happened.

My sister then realised what a mistake she had made by not exposing him. She obviously took him to task then. She exposed him in front of his own wife and daughter. She told everyone what he had done to her and now her daughter. He was boycotted from our family and all ties with him were severed. But till this day my sister’s biggest regret is not speaking up when she should have.

File a complaint
So Palak puttar you have nothing to fear. Hold your head up high and don’t be ashamed. The only person who should be ashamed is that dreadful man who took advantage of you. I am sure your parents will support you in taking this wretched person down.

I would suggest that your parents discuss this episode with your friend’s family. They should insist to meet this man and confront him, or he’ll just get away and prey on other girls. He needs to be told that what he is doing is wrong. Now it’s not my decision to take but I would totally recommend filing a complaint against him.

You are a very brave girl and I am proud of you for speaking up. All we need at this point are brave women like you who will not take such ghastly behaviour lying down. And if each one of us decides to speak up, this nation will be a much better place.

It’s tough and unfortunately you’re by no means the only one in this situation. But I am glad that you have written to me. It is very important to get these things out of your system. Girls in our times were so scared to speak up that they would keep struggling with it internally.

Times have changed
Palak puttar, research has shown that such an experience can have a toll both physically and mentally. The affects might not show up immediately so it is very important that you tell your parents.

Talking about it will really help you get over this episode. They can also help you look for some professional help. Our partner FPA India can offer you counselling or help you find it.

Believe me there is nothing wrong in asking for help like this. Prevention is better than cure, as they say.

Times have completely changed. You don’t need to be scared of anyone. And I really do feel very strongly about this. Such ruthless people should be definitely exposed. They should be humiliated publicly so that they don’t do it again. It might not be easy to speak up especially when it happens to you for the first time. But do not worry because it is never too late.

Speak up
Let me tell a true story from my family. Growing up even I had a dreadful uncle who used to molest young girls. He molested my sister at multiple occasions. But she was never able to speak up. She had a very disturbed childhood because of him but never said a word.

You will not believe it but twenty-five years later, the same man tried to molest my sister’s daughter. But unlike her mother this girl spoke up. She told her mother about what had happened.

My sister then realised what a mistake she had made by not exposing him. She obviously took him to task then. She exposed him in front of his own wife and daughter. She told everyone what he had done to her and now her daughter. He was boycotted from our family and all ties with him were severed. But till this day my sister’s biggest regret is not speaking up when she should have.

File a complaint
So Palak puttar you have nothing to fear. Hold your head up high and don’t be ashamed. The only person who should be ashamed is that dreadful man who took advantage of you. I am sure your parents will support you in taking this wretched person down.

I would suggest that your parents discuss this episode with your friend’s family. They should insist to meet this man and confront him, or he’ll just get away and prey on other girls. He needs to be told that what he is doing is wrong. Now it’s not my decision to take but I would totally recommend filing a complaint against him.

You are a very brave girl and I am proud of you for speaking up. All we need at this point are brave women like you who will not take such ghastly behaviour lying down. And if each one of us decides to speak up, this nation will be a much better place.

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