My parents hate any guy I pick – help!

Auntyji says…Beta Silky, I am sorry but I can’t stop smiling. Are you ‘fed up’ of your parents’ disliking each guy policy? Beta yeh badi funny baat hai aur bahut sweet bhi. But before you get upset with your Auntyji, let me share some ideas with you and all you pyaari kuddis out there!

Seeds of doubt

Beta sabse pehele, pull out the names of three guys you have really liked. Make a list of their special qualities. Then think of why did you split or stop dating? Was it something he said that hurt you? Or was it that you changed your mind? Just think back.

Itnaa hi acchha aadmi tha, so why did you break up? I absolutely agree that constant criticism of every boyfriend is not only annoying but also a reason to sow seeds of doubt. Unknowingly shaq pad jaata hai. If you were somewhat oscillating, this surely is the last kick on his poor butt. Ouch! Their disapproval could be influencing you in some way. Very much possible.

Good cop–bad cop

Your situation is super funny! Suppose one of them likes one guy, the other one starts, “Haan woh toh theek hai, lekinnnnnn....” and that’s that. The thing is puttar, they may never like any guy who comes close to you. Because that also means you are going one step away from them.

He will become your new interest and suddenly they will become a little less significant. I am sure they don’t even realise this and you too may feel that no bf can take their place. Hence they may be on an unconscious sabotage trip.

The other thing beta Silky, parents never think any bf is really kosher, really good enough for their princess! “Kahan meri beti aur kahan yeh? Look at him and look at my girl.” This applies to everybody’s parents, bete including mine. According to my dad, your Uncleji was useless. “The man who wears shirt outside his pants, will he be able to look after you?” Now say, any logic? This behaviour is the result of their love and fear of losing you, even over protecting you.

Talk time

Beta, I think it is time to sit them down, look them in the eye and tell them, “I have grown up. I have to make my own mistakes. I need your guidance but not your continued criticism. Stop doing this, you are shaking my own confidence and self-esteem that I can’t make or keep a relationship. Do you want me to become a weak, under-confident girl who has no decision-making skills?”

Bas beta, itnaa hee. Jaa rutt le and be kind because they are perhaps as nervous as you. Listen to what they have to say about it. This should work in your favour. If it doesn’t, wait for some more time and speak with them again. Agar fir bhi na mane toh kahin tu Piku toh nahin? And your parents the old fuddy duddy Big B?!

To protect the author’s privacy, the person in the picture is a model.

Have your parents ever disapproved of your lovers? Share your experiences in comments or on Facebook.