I have made out a bit with my bf, can we go the full way now?

‘Auntyji says, Oh ho beta Vinu. You have put your Auntyji in asmanjas – and that means confusion. Let's solve it together.’

Grown-up choices

Puttar, sacchi gall is this that I want to straight away say – kudiye, wait a bit. I want to say, puttar, it’s a bit early! But beta I don’t want to say it also. Because the decision finally ought to be yours. After all, we adults keep telling you young people, ‘you are grown up now’, so we should allow you to make your ‘grown-up’ choices too, hai ki nahin?

Step up or back

So beta, one thing turned out fine. You have a sweet and decent boyfriend or so it seems. He is helping you to think about sex as opposed to rushing you into it. Chalo. Good boy. On the other hand, I am very sure your body is giving you all the signs – let's go further.

Maybe your love for him and this relationship is telling you – let’s take a step forward. All possible and very legit! Sach pooch to beta, I too don’t have a clear-cut answer for you. I can’t tell you what is right and what is wrong. But what I can tell you are a few things. Read and see if they gell.

A new expectation

First thing first – if you go all the way and have penetrative sex with him, then beta Vinu, everything between you and him changes. From being good friends and classmates, two people in love or with a crush, you suddenly become two people having sex and meeting with a single purpose – sex!

Now every time you meet, you feel you have to do it. You may do pretty much lesser but you do pack in the sex. Now that can get kind of boring – no? Abhi to you talk and have fun and hang out with each other and pals – whatever little time you get from studies to have fun. Suddenly all that changes and all you use that time for is – for having sex.

Bye -bye fun times. Bye -bye hanging with pals and the fun you had with him. Time to utna hee hai – there is a different kind of pressure operating. Once done, always to be done!

Getting addict to it?

Then the study angle will also undergo a change. I want to ask you – are you ready for that? Do you know beta that so many young men say they can’t focus on study and feel like doing masturbation all the time especially during the exams? Then they feel terrible about wasting time in doing it mixed with wanting it. It’s a release of tension and pressure and they think about it so much! The same applies to sex too.

You have such a burden to study and more so, to score big. You feel the exam and scoring pressure, you want a way out. And sex is one such way. Before you realise, you become addicted to sex and are continuously looking for that feel good sensation. That does impact your scores and your concentration to study a lot.

Get your reasons right

Consider just these two issues for the time being and make your decision. If you do decide to go ahead, beta, be very safe, very secure. Don’t rush it, don’t  do it under any maahoul of  fear or worry (someone will hear us, someone will walk in types).

Get your ‘Thirteen reasons why’ lined up us to why you are ready to go all the way. Make sure you tick off each. Remember Vinu, what you have now is lovely, lovable and beautiful too. Why not make that more fun and sexy for now and baaki we can review a bit later? What say you?

*Names changed. 

*Person in the picture is a model. 

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