Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

I love porn but can't get a real-life a girlfriend – help!

By Auntyji Tuesday, August 2, 2016 - 23:52
Auntyji, I’ve never had a girlfriend. I get excited after watching porn but I can’t approach or talk to any girl in real life. What’s wrong? Mayank (24), Mumbai.

Auntyji says… Hahahaha, what do you think, Mayank? You love sex – and good that you to admit – but only in reel life as in porn! Koi toh baat hai, let’s see what it can be…

For the love of cinema

Sabton pehlan puttar, I like that you are putting it out there – that you love porn! Actually many, many people do and we all know that. The role of porn should be not to corrupt and kill our culture but to help people shed inhibitions around sex.

Porn should be used for personal pleasure. I hope you’re aware that it’s a film and not exactly the ‘Encyclopedia of Ethical Information and Knowledge on Copulation’. Right? Having said that, let’s also remember, we don’t live in the movies. Chalo jee, I hope this is clear.

Under cover(s)

Now why do girls in real life freak you out and girls in reel life turn you on? There can be so many reasons, let’s check a few. Firstly, you are just a shy guy. You find it tough to talk to people, especially girls. Is it because there is some sexual element involved there? Dude, not all relationships are sexual, right? Some girls can just be damn good friends. Do you have any? Go and make some.

Every girl shouldn’t be seen or assessed sexually. Some of them have great potential of being your classmates, colleagues, a group to hang out with etc. Hey, sometimes you may not be their type either, so chill man! Step out, make friends, make dostis and get over this fear of naari.

Judge me not

The other reason may be that you are worrying about being judged. Is your mind always running with questions like, “Will she like me? Am I cool enough? Will she expect me to be like the lead actor of the porn film I watched last night?” Hell NO! Mayank, you won’t know unless you try to get to know them. Increase your group of mates, expand it beyond boys.

Betaji, all of us fear being judged. Fat, dark, dalit, gay, poor, government school student, small town boys etc.

The list is endless and senseless! Don’t allow that to happen to yourself. Once people get to know you, they will also begin to welcome you and involve you. You too can share yourself, your life stories with them – and Mayank, you got to have more to offer than, “Come and use my library of porn anytime!” Though you will be surprised how many pals that will get you but girls or girlfriend, am not really sure.

On your fingertips

A dear friend of mine has a lovely daughter. She obviously gets a bit too many inputs from me. I asked her, “Where are your pals? Your BFF? And your bf” So she announced, “I need no one, I have my books!” Not only this, she goes ahead and opens another drawer full of novels and books, all romantic and love stories. That’s the genre she loves to read, since seven years. What does that tell you?

The other nugget of the story is that she is overweight. Does that tell you something about her even more? Isn’t it similar to your relationship with porn? I am not saying reading or watching what you like is a bad thing. I am just saying that it is so easy and comfortable to live in your world of fantasy. No demands, no talking for long hours, no need to call a 100 times to ask for a kiss, no need to bother about birthdays and ‘first hug’ or ‘first movie together’ anniversary.

No need to waste money on Valentine’s Day and a new one each day, even three times a day. Each time, a very happy ending! What more does a man want? Heaven at your fingertips, right?

 

Last words

We are social beings, Mayank. We need people. Keep up your love affair with your reel life, but also try and come out of that safe and virtual zone. The world is a wonderful place, with beautiful people. It is waiting for you to come and tell your story. Not the film story you saw last night beta, but your own real story! Please switch off your laptop and out of the house, NOW!

To protect the privacy of the author, the person in the picture is a model.

Are you shy to approach someone you really like or admire? Share your thoughts via comments below or post them on Facebook. If you have any questions, visit our discussion forum.

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Comments
Ye sirf ek myth hain. Ye dharna be-buniyaad hain. Aisa kuchh bhi nahi hota hain. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Aunty ji m ne apne c k sth sex kiya ab hm sth nhi hai kuch aisa ho skta ha m fir se virginty shw kr sku apne hbyy ko plz m in tnsn ??
Kaumarya ka poora daromadaar hymen ya jhilli se juda hua hai. Yaad rakhiye ki yeh bahut hee asani se toot saktee hai, jese cycling, horse riding ya khel-kud ke duran. Isliye jab tak mahila khud nahi batyegi ki woh pehli baar hi sex kar rahi hain woh is baat ka pata nahi laga sakte! Lekin sex mein jo bhi karein safe karein. Apne mann se doubt clear kijiye aur yeh padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/faqs-hymen-and-virginity Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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