Auntyji
Love Matters

I had unsafe sex, do I have HIV?

By Auntyji Tuesday, December 1, 2015 - 13:35
Hello Auntyji, I had unprotected sex. It just happened somehow. How can I find out if I have contracted HIV? I am very worried. Please help me out. Prashant (27), Agra.

Auntyji says....Pehlaan eh dass, have you heard what unsafe sex is, hain? Then you must have also read or heard what it can lead to, hain na? Taan pher?

Wait it out

Beta ji, darne se phaayda koi nahin. No gain in fear! What you have to do is a test. The only hitch is you have to wait three months at least. That will tell you where you stand. The issue is, with such fear, will you even be able to stand? Oye, kithey gir na jaayen!

The virus takes three months to show up in an antibody test, the ones most commonly being used are ELISA and rapid test. You can get this done for free in any government  hospital, it’s all anonymous and confidential, provided you can easily find the room. You know how it is in our government hospitals, the only system of finding information is to ask each other!

You must get some counselling alongside of course! You can go in for an immediate test called an antigen test, which only select clinics may offer. There you can rule out the three-month window period, but you will still be advised to do one more after three or six months, understood?

Risky propositions

O chal hun that you have all the gyaan, let me ask you a few questions. Betaji, I ask all of you, is it worth taking such a chance? Hain?  Sex ke liye, if you are ready and prepared, sure go ahead. But beta being ready also means being safe.

Now just like you boys, there are some kamlee kudidyan, who will hold the jhanda of safe sex, all through, make posters, go for a march, but then comes the lover boy, “requestaan paiyaan ne...” and all the marches and morchas go down the tubes.

Next we know, they have forgotten all the information and gyaan and given in to their manipulative boyfriends’ demands, “For love” and acquired a risk to their lives, or an unwanted pregnancy.

Undercover agents

You, gentlemen and your excuses. I have had it. “No fun with a condom,” “It’s like a raincoat,” “Can’t get the feel,” and the final one, “What kind of a man does it with a condom?” Beta, be a lover, don’t cower! The cool kinda lover, keeps the cover on!

Do you want to land up with an STD or an HIV infection? Or are you ready for that phone call when she is weeping, “I am pregnant ya dude...”

Is it really worth the terrible stuff that could follow? I swear not! I know you agree with me now, and yet, lekin, kintu, parantu... you still go ahead and dump the condom, “Man! It can’t happen to me!” Ya right!

What next, what now?

So Prashant, what are you going to do? Gather all the testing information, choose a centre. You can even quietly go check it out and go seek counselling. Go meet the VCTC counsellor, see if you get along and plan for your test.

Once you are past the window period, you will get the result in 24 hours. The three-month period is the tough one, I can understand. Read up a bit, but don’t overdo it, don’t make yourself sick over it  and then like innumerable people, convince yourself you already have AIDS, no less! Just wait it out, go to a VCTC and get the real info!

Ab jo hua so hua. No point in berating yourself or hitting your head on a wall, “Why did I do it, why did I not pull up my socks and my condom?” Now you know a lot about yourself and you know that there is a real threat of HIV,  that unprotected sex can be very risky, that you are experiencing real fear... All I can say is, all the best dude, hang in there!

To protect the author’s privacy, the person in the picture is a model.

This article has been re-published as part of our weeklong HIV/AIDS awareness campaign on account of World AIDS Day. This article was first published on 4th August, 2015.

Did you have unprotected sex with a stranger? Not sure what to do? Get in touch with Auntyji by commenting below or via Facebook.

Did you find this useful?

Comments
Anonymous
Wed, 08/19/2015 - 23:42
hello auntyji, i am a young 23 yr old guy. I am having afair since 2 years now. I had sex with my gf around 20times. Never used any protection (condom) at all. My gf is the only girl i ever had sex with. I didnt have sex with no other girl. The problem is i am not going to marry with my gf. My que is is there any kind of risk of having aids or any kind of sex decease to me or to my wife or to my gf in the future as we both (me n my gf) are going to marry sum1 else n have sex with them for whole lyf. Please ans me auntyji n pls display my comment on fb page with ur ans. Thank u.
Ok, sure… so the thing is we can only display on FB if you ask on FB. As for getting HIV, or Aids, unless ONE of the partners has HIV, the other one cannot acquire HIV, sexually. That’s all. SO if you are negative she cant get it from you and vice versa. But if either of you has others partners, then you can only know your satus for sure, when you do a HIV test
2 month se without condom sex kar rhe hai.. pregnancy ka pata kab chalega..? har month reguler periods aate hai.. kab tak pregnancy ke liye try kre..? kya doctor se salah leni chahiye...?
Yadi aapko har mahine periods ho rahe hai toh yeh is baat ka chinha hai ki aap pregnant nahi hain. Ek vishagya ya achche panjikrit doctor se consult kijiye. Aur Jaldi pregnancy ke tips yaha pahdiye: http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/tips
ADITYA mgr
Sat, 09/19/2015 - 13:02
Madam ji namaste, meri age 21 hai or mujhe bachpan karib jab mai 11*12age ka raha hounga tab se hasthmaithun ka let lag gaya hai. karan mere home me ek sex book rakha tha usi me figure or story jankar ajtk hasthmaithun karta hu mera sawal hai ke meri ling ka size 3inch hai or avi tak supda v nai nikla hai. kya proaalm ho sakti h.? jbki meri frnd jo chote h uske nikal chuke hai. plese jabab de. i m wait. ps
Hmm! Suniye is skin ko nahataye samaye halkaye se pichay kar ke saaf karna hota hai jissey ki waha saafai bani raheye, yadi aisaye kartaye mein koi jyda takleef ya blood araaha hai toh ek doctor se mill lo iskaye baaraye mein. Aur jyada yaha padhiye : http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/penis Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
ashish verma
Sun, 12/27/2015 - 10:47
Namste aunty ji mai kaafi tension me chal raha hun actually 23 dec. Ko meri gf aayi thi hamne sex to nahi kiya but mera sperm uske v*** ke bahar hi gir gaya tha to kitne %age chances hain ki wo pregnent hogi. Plz iska jawab de dijiye aage se kabhi apni life me mai sex nahi karunga.
Bete Ashish sorry for delay bete, almost ek mahina ho gaya aapke sawaalo ko, Ab kya sthithi hai? Acha zara aagye ke liye yeh samjh lo ki Yadd rakhiye chahye ling ka Sirf thode se samay ke liye yoni mein pravesh hua hao, bina condom ke wo unsafe hai kyunki pregnant hone ke liey ek shuranu bhi kaafi hota hai. Aur haan yadi aap pregnancy ke risk se bachna chatay hai to kisi aur tarikay kay mukabley Condom ka istemal hi easy aur safe tarika hai http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility
I would like to thank you for the efforts you've put in writing this site. I really hope to see the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own blog now ;)
vinay chauhan
Fri, 01/01/2016 - 00:46
Mam,, my girlfriend avoid sex with me. Because my penis colour is very dark in colour .plz suggest me mam what should I do know?? even my previous gf avoid having oral sex. Plz mam suggest me???
Bete Vinay having any kind of sexual activity requires fully consent from both sides. If she in not okay with it you can not force her. For penis color please read here: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/his-body
Auntiji muje genital herpes ho gaye h ab meri sadi tay ho gai h ab me kya karu karu ya mana kr du sadi ke liye ya mere pass koi dusra option rhta h aage ki sadi krne k bad life partner ke sath heldi life bita saku please yes or no reply please please
Aunty ji.. maine 7 gf chnge kar chuka hun.. wahan se 3 k sth bina condom sex kiya or av 8 bala gf ka sth b jada tar bina confom ka kar leta hun.. or ussi bich ek aunty k sth b sex kiya bina condom k or aj phr gf k sth condom or bina condom ka krra raha hun.. toh kya hiv ka chances hai kya aunty ji..
Yadi unme se kisi bhi viykati ko HIV hai toh HIV hone ki sambhavna hai.. Aur yadi unmein se kisi ko bhi HIV nhai hai toh yeh nahi ho SAKTA! lekin phir bhi kisi bhi doubt mein se rehne se achha hai ki ek HIV test zarrur kar lein. Saath hi sex mein Jo bhi karein, SAFE karein. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
If she consents, go ahead. Just remember to use a condom to prevent infection. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Condom ke saath sex ko safe sex maana jaata hai. Aur isse HIV ki sambhavna na ke baraabar hai. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
i had a gf i had unprotected sex with her she was vergin i m the fisrt men to hv sex with her but we break up and i dnt hv any sexual relationship with any girl now i married and my wife was also vergin so kya muje aids ho sakta hai.
Virginity has very little to do with AIDS. Any of them could've been HIV positive hereditarily. So if the sex was and is unsafe, you can very well, have HIV. It's better to get tested, and to get your wife tested, too. https://lovematters.in/en/resource/hiv If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
aunti ji maine apne gf k vagina pr apna panis ragra aur abdr dalne ki kosis v ki pr gya nhi phir bahar hi maine virye nikal di uske vagina se hatkr uske bad uska 2bar period aa chuka h kya phir v kuch chance pregnt hone ka
Jee nahi yadi is unsafe koshish ke baad bhee unhe periods huay hain toh pregnancy ke chance nahi hain. Lekin haan Yadi aap pregnancy ke risk se bachna chatay hai to kisi aur tarikay kay mukabley Condom ka istemal hi easy aur safe tarika hai. http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility
Ji nahi, hastmaithun se HIV hona sambhav nahi hain. Duniya bhar mein sabse adhik HIV cases, unsafe sex ke zariye hue hain.Lekin HIV aur bhi kai asurakshit karano se hota hai. So zara detail mein yeh niche diya hua link padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Ji nahi, hastmaithun se HIV hona sambhav nahi hain. Duniya bhar mein sabse adhik HIV cases, unsafe sex ke zariye hue hain.Lekin HIV aur bhi kai asurakshit karano se hota hai. So zara detail mein yeh niche diya hua link padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Jee nahi bete hastmaithun se HIV hone ki sambhavana nahi hoti hai. HIV ki jaankari in link se lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/can-i-date-an-hiv-person Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Ab kya sthiti hai bete? Aur baat ek baar ki nahi hai, yadi jis viykati ke saath aap unsafe sex kar rahe hain use HIV Positive hai toh HIV hone ki sambhavna hai. Duniya bhar mein sabse adhik HIV casess, sex ke zariye hue hain.Lekin HIV aur bhi kai asurakshit karano se hota hai.So! Zara detail mein yeh niche diya hua link padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/stdsstis/hivaids-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Yashawant
Tue, 05/15/2018 - 20:19
Maine 5 sal me 6 ladkiyo ke sath ak ya do bar bina condom ke sex kiya lekin uname kisi ko aids nahi tha fir akhiri bar sex karne ke bad 28 din our 45 din fir 70 din bad hiv test karwaya jo negative hai lekin hiv ke lakhan hai anty ji kya hiv hai mujhe
Ab kya sthiti hai bete? Bina condom ke sex karna apne aap mein ek safe idea bilkul bhee nahi hai. Isse anchahe garbh ke saath kai youn rog hone kaa bhi khatra ho sakta hai. Aur bete jab HIV test negative aaya hai toh HIV ke lakshan hain ka kya matlab hai? Yadi is test ke baad apne koi unsafe sex nahi kiya hao toh aap is test ko final maan sakte hain. Hum umeed karte hain ki apne yeh test kisi panjikrit lab se karwaya hai. Aur waise toh HIV ke koi apne lakshan nahin hai lekin kuch samay baad isse jud hui beemariyoun ke kuch lakshan aa saktey hain. Chahe toh aap yeh padh ke dekh leejiye : https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/stdsstis/hivaids-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Bête jo adult ya vayask hote hain nunmein breast milk se HIV nahi hota hai, yadi aapko koi sandeh ho toh aap ek HIV test le sakte hain, kisi panjikrit lab ya sarkari asptaal se ya aap HIV counselli ng bhee le sakte hain. Zara ise padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/can-i-date-an-hiv-person Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Nikhil bête samanyataya HIV test , ELIZA, aap unsafe sex ke 90 din ke baad le sakte hain, yeh sure mana jata hai- lekin agar doctor aapko aage aur bhee test karne ki salah dete hai toh doctor ke anudesh ka palan kijiye. Zara ise padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/can-i-date-an-hiv-person Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Maine HIV rapid screening test karaya 32 din 77 din 93 din baad result negative aaya Kya mujhe aur test ki zaroorat hai isdauran Maine koi bhi unsafe sex nahi kiya hai
Sahil bete yadi is test ke baad apne koi unsafe sex nahi kiya hao toh aap is test ko final maan sakte hain. Hum umeed karte hain ki apne yeh test kisi panjikrit lab se karwaya hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/stdsstis/hivaids-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Nahi bete yadi jis viykati ke saath aap unsafe sex kar rahe hain use HIV Positive hai toh HIV hone ki sambhavna hai. Duniya bhar mein sabse adhik HIV casess, sex ke zariye hue hain.Lekin HIV aur bhi kai asurakshit karano se hota hai.So! Zara detail mein yeh niche diya hua link padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/stdsstis/hivaids-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
mam Maine 1 bina pahechan wali aunty ke sath sex kiya tha condom use karke uske bad Maine 100 din ke bad hiv test kiya tha negative aaya tha aur test karna chahiye kya
Yadi is test ke baad apne koi unsafe sex nahi kiya hao toh aap is test ko final maan sakte hain. Hum umeed karte hain ki apne yeh test kisi panjikrit lab se karwaya hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/stdsstis/hivaids-top-five-facts Lekin bete jo aap kar rahe hai uske karan kahin aap kisi badi musibat mein na padd jaye isliye zara aap swayum chintan kar leejiye aur soch leejiye. Jara yeh writup bhi padh lijiye : https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/turned-on-by-older-women-is-that-normal https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/should-i-sleep-with-my-neighbourhood-bhaabhi Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Hemant kumar
Thu, 07/18/2019 - 12:44
Hello mam Please meri problem solve kijiye me Hemant 21 saal ka hu Abhi 3 din pehele Mene galti se ek aunty ke saath Bina condom ke sex Kiya unki Umar lagbhag 43,44 hogi matlab sex to Kaya Mene halka sa unke lagaya hi tha bs ab mujhe samjh nahi aara ki kya mujhe HIV AIDS hogya ya hojayega kya pelase bataiye
Beta! Bina condom ke sex karna apne aap mein ek safe idea bilkul bhee nahi hai. Isse anchahe garbh ke saath kai youn rog hone kaa bhi khatra ho sakta hai. Lekin jahan tak HIV ki baat hai toh yadi jis viykati ke saath aap unsafe sex kar rahe hain use HIV Positive hai toh HIV hone ki sambhavna hai. Duniya bhar mein sabse adhik HIV casess, sex ke zariye hue hain.Lekin HIV aur bhi kai asurakshit karano se hota hai.So! Zara detail mein yeh niche diya hua link padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/stdsstis/hivaids-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Beta! Nahi condom ka istemaal sabse easy aur bharosemand upay hai HIV ko rokne ka. Toh iske chances na ke barabar hai. Aapko koi sandeh ho toh ek vishesgya ya sarkari hospital se sampark kijiye. Yadi jis viykati ke saath aap unsafe sex kar rahe hain use HIV hai toh HIV hone ki sambhavna hai. Lekin jo sthiti aap bata rahe hai usme HIV hone ki sambhawna toh nahi lagti hai lekin phir bhi kisi bhi doubt mein se rehne se achha hai ki ek HIV test zarrur kar lein. Saath hi sex mein Jo bhi karein, SAFE karein. Zara ise padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv https://lovematters.in/hi/safe-sex/can-i-date-an-hiv-person Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Add new comment

Comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>