Arun beta, there are many options out there. It is for the two of you to decide what you want. First you should ask yourselves how important to it is that she doesn’t get pregnant.
ReliableIf it is very, very important that you don’t have a baby right now, you must choose a very reliable method of birth control like the pill or the IUD.
The pill is flexible because she can get pregnant as soon as she stops taking it. A copper IUD or hormonal IUD is especially suited if you know you don’t want to have children for a few years. There are also other reversible birth control methods such as the vaginal ring or the injectable contraceptive.
RiskyBut maybe you are planning to have kids soon enough anyway. Perhaps it would be inconvenient if she gets pregnant quickly but not a disaster. You would still be happy to hear the patter of tiny feet. Only then can you think about less reliable options like withdrawal, when you pull out just before you ejaculate.
But bear in mind that it is usually very risky. Especially for young people and with all the excitement of a first time. I always tell people that it is all in the moment and he might or might not be able to act with that much control. And who knows he could also ejaculate a small amount of sperm without even realizing – but it only takes one to get you pregnant.
Another possibility at the less reliable end of the scale is avoiding having sex in her most fertile period. There are different ways to work this out – you can read more about natural family planning methods here. But like withdrawal, this is also quite unreliable. And not exactly suitable for a wedding night! I don’t think you will be setting the wedding date based on your bride-to-be’s menstrual cycle.
AdviceFor help and information on contraceptives, have a look at the contraception top five facts or information on different birth control methods right here on Love Matters. There is a list of methods and a brief explanation of how they work and how reliable they are.
For most methods apart from condoms you will need to see your doctor or perhaps contact Love Matters’ partner the Family Planning Association India. They will be able to advise you in person and they also have a clinic near you.
Check-upHaving said all that betaji, I would like to stand up for the humble condom. As long as you practice putting one on smoothly and properly, it doesn’t necessarily have to make your first time less special.
And finally I must remind you that without asking any details about whether you are virgins or not, if you have sex without a condom it is wise first to have a check-up for sexually transmitted diseases before you tie the knot. Better safe than sorry. Again the FPA India can help you.
Arun puttar, I am very sure your first time will turn out to be wonderful. Remember that sex the first time is often not the best sex in the world, but even if it isn’t you can still make it a moving experience and a memory to cherish. Don’t stress yourself too much and everything will fall in place.