Auntyji says… So scream my darling, scream at anything and everything that comes your way. Anyone and everyone. You have the right to feel awful or be at your worst.
Not your fault
There is no point in asking what he’s doing in your house. Obviously, he has come to meet your parents who are clueless about his past actions. First, let’s get a few matters out of the way. What happened with you when you were choti bachhi and what he did is not your fault. You had no role to play and you had nothing to do with it. You were little, he was an adult and he is a creep. Nisandeh!
Please don’t assume that you did something to provoke him or you were responsible in any way. NOT TRUE AT ALL. Abuse has very little to do with sexual attraction or desire and almost everything to do with using power. Saala abuser!
Thousand unspoken fears
You said you did not tell about it to anyone. Of course you did not, very few kids do. Kids are generally terrified of sharing such things with anyone. They feel alone, ashamed, confused and scared. They feel no one will believe them or understand them.
There are so many thoughts that can bother children in such situations. Kids might also think that opening up about these incidents might spoil the rishta between the perpetuator and the family. All these excuses sound fine and fancy. However, is being abused and violated also your responsibility? Is it also your fault? How so? Someone please explain it to your Auntyji!
Your space, your choice
Rani of Ranikhet, what are you going to do now? There are a few ways of dealing with this. The house belongs to you and your parents. So stay where you are. Only if you want to. Or you can tell your parents about your problem and go stay at a friend’s place till he gets out. Lastly, you can decide to stay and totally ignore him. Do not even show mere courtesy. Of course your parents will question your awful behaviour. How will you answer them, beta jaan?
You can spook the hell out of him if you, my rajkumari go, sit by his side and quietly tell him that you remember him very well from your childhood.
“I don’t like him, please don’t call him here!” “Please tell him not to talk to me, I am in a bad mood!” You can also speak to him directly, “Please don’t talk to me.” Beta, confronting your abuser is an emotional task. It is also very difficult. It needn’t be a big show down. You can spook the hell out of him if you, my rajkumari go, sit by his side and quietly tell him that you remember him very well from your childhood. Just remind him. Tell him, you have not forgotten. Make sure that you are harsh while addressing your issues.
Keep him stewing
Darling, you are not alone. By asking your question you have helped so many young girls and boys in our country. They will read this, learn a little and not feel vulnerable about themselves. In the end, I will suggest you to access some sort of forum to talk about it, get it out and discuss it with those who are close to you. Don’t bottle your feelings up.
You cannot make yourself feel embarrassed about this. Let him be ashamed, let him feel squeamish, unsafe and insecure. Let him worry and wonder, “Has Mini told someone? What if she does? What if she confronts me? What if bhaiyya (say your dad) asks me? What if bhabhijee (your mother) encounters me?” Let him sweat it, Mini!
Go grab it!
You are a lovely, strong and a wonderful girl. By sharing your concern, you have become the voice of innumerable girls and boys who will read this. Go ahead and do what you want to do. Claim your right over your space and your body. Let your move teach your uncle a lesson. You have the power Mini, go grab it!
To protect the author's privacy, the person in the picture is a model.
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