Basically, this is my first big job and I just love it. I am learning and earning well here and am on a quick growth path. I need to be in this job for a few more years. But the problem is, Auntyji I am so stuck, if anyone gets to know, every other company will think of me as a troublemaker and I won’t go very far. Help me please, quickly. Kritika, 24, Mumbai
Auntyji says... Beta Kritika, This is just awful, your boss is a creep! Ganda banda!
Kritika, beta listen, you know you don’t need to put up with this absolutely at all. You have heard me say – and Love Matters endorses this all the way - that you should have sex ONLY when you feel ready and with the person you want to. No force, no zabardasti, no blackmail.
BlackmailNow this is out and out blackmail, sexual harassment in the workplace and a threat to bodily integrity. The question is Kritika, is it really worth putting yourself through this at any cost, for a promotion, or to further your career?
Do not for a moment think that I am underestimating the value of a woman’s career, that it is easy to give up – not at all. I believe women must work, must strive and take up every challenge, even tougher ones then men and reach the top of the line. But we do NOT believe that you need to put up with any kind of bullying or humiliation to reach your goals. This is both.
I would say the same about not putting up with any of the same humiliation even if you were in a marriage, or a relationship – and a job can be as important, is it not?
You vs BossNow beta if you work in a large to medium size company – you march up to Human Resources and ask to speak to someone in confidence. If you have any e-mails, SMS’s, late-night phone records, take them with you.This is very much a You vs Boss situation, so you’d better be calm and collected and be ready for some brutal verbal attacks. He may even say you made the offer and when he refused, you turned it around on him to secure your promotion. So be ready beta, it is not easy to do but is very important.
Should you work in a small size company, then find a senior person or even the head of the organisation and have a similar conversation with either of them, on the very same lines.
Women get intimidated and cowed down and keep putting up with this kind of shabby treatment by their bosses and seniors for fear of being ostracised, branded. And yes, people treat you like a hot potato – no one wants to belong to your camp! It is very sad, very mean. But beta, if you are true and honest and have the guts to put up a struggle, then well, go for it and people will join you.
Social responsibilityKritika ,do recognise that many of your juniors may well be putting up with this already and if you don’t take a stand now, it may continue for years on many other girls and if you take it up, it may silence him for ever. Is that not a big benefit?
Not only is it unlawful, but it is also very much the social responsibility of companies to ensure women feel safe and protected because they are as relevant an asset as are men to the company. We must believe that.
Never compromiseBeta, today you may feel you have lost a promotion, but at the same time you would have gained a lot too. We do not ever need to compromise on our bodies, to make temporary gain, and incur a permanent damage. Because Kritika, were you to get that promotion, by these means, in your heart you would always feel you didn’t get it due to your merit and hard work but rather because you slept with this bully!Want that promotion now girl? Brace yourself, you have a struggle coming up – and you are not alone. It is his time to be afraid now.Send Auntyji an e-mail if you’d like advice about love, sex, relationships or anything in between.
Have you experienced sexual harassment at work? How did you handle it? Leave a comment here or on Facebook.