Is masturbation harmful?

Auntyji says… Puttar Prashant, you are so pareshaan, so worried, hain puttar? Oh ho, my sense of humour is getting better these days! Hai ki nahin?

Good ole masturbation!

So sabse pehele, tell me, is there any world issue, any world crisis, and problem in the whole cosmos, that you guys don’t blame masturbation for? Kuch bhi ho, masturbation to blame, hain jee? Tsunami aye to masturbation. Dark circles, sleepless nights, poor scores because of masturbation. Climate change, mobility, poor cinema, bad music all point in one direction – masturbation!

Oye, don’t be silly oye, good ole masturbation is not so powerful to move mountains, samjhe? All I am saying is that forget about the idea that masturbation can be harmful. Why do you all seem to think it can cause so many problems? Aisa kya hai masturbation mein?

Size-wise

Let me address your issues one by one. Your small penis size, according to you is a result of masturbation? Aye dasso tussi ki! We walk for miles and kilometres, we rub and clean our nose, we use our hands. So do all feet, hands and noses become weak and small and threaten to reduce in size? Because they are being over-used, nahin na?

Then why do we think that this is going to happen with our dear penis? Ki jee I have over used it, so now it’s shrinking. Can that ever happen, puttar? The size of your penis is ascertained by many factors. How much you masturbate is not one of them, samjhe?

To know more about penis shapes and sizes, watch our video here!

Fault in our dreams?

Then the other one,nightfall or wet dreams. Oho beta, if a water tank fills up and there is no outlet, won’t the tank overflow? Exactly the same process happens with your “semen tank.” By the way, one of the ways of outlet from semen tank is apna purana dost, hastmaithun or masturbation.

Ek toh someone went and named this very natural phenomenon, swapnadosh. It means fault in our dreams, making men feel that it is some fault. But it is not. It is a very normal, common functioning of the body, samjhe ? Fault in our dreams, asiee koi picture bhi hai na? Is it about SWAPNADOSH? Hahahah, my humor toh... too much!

Doctor in the house?

Ab last and that is weak semen. Bhai, how do you know? If it is thick or watery, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s weak? Are you crajee? Beta, the consistency of semen keeps varying at times. It has no relation to being weak or strong.

Only a certain test can ascertain as to what is the mobility, morbidity and quantity of sperm in each ejaculate. If there is any problem, it is not for you to look and diagnose, samjhe doctor sahib?

So many myths

Actually, I have realised that this is not a boys’ issue alone. Down the ages, we all have presumed that boys know everything! We have also taught boys to behave as if they know everything.

Bas issi mein bechare boys have no one to talk to. No one to check with and are labouring under so many myths about their bodies. So Prashant now become shaant and don’t be pareshan, theek hai puttar?

To protect the author’s privacy, the person in the picture is a model.

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