Scientists know why men have orgasms: if they didn’t ejaculate, guys wouldn’t be able to make babies. But what about women? It turns out that researchers aren’t entirely sure why the female orgasm exists.
It could be that orgasms help women choose a good partner, one theory goes. Basically, that’s a guy who will treat her well and help care for their kids. If this is the case, a woman might be more likely to climax with a guy who’s got certain personality traits that would make him a good catch – like emotional warmth or faithfulness.
To test this theory out, a group of Australian researchers tracked down 103 single women who’d had at least three sex partners. First the researchers asked the women if they orgasmed more easily with some men than with others.
Not surprisingly, some guys were way better lovers, and delivered loads more orgasms. What was it about the ‘high-orgasm’ partners that made them so good in bed? If the researchers’ theory was right, these men had personality traits that made them good lovers. But could it just be that they were doing certain things in bed that drove their partners wild, and their sexual prowess had nothing to do with their winning personalities?
To find out, the researchers next asked the women questions about their high-orgasm partner (the guy they found it easiest to climax with) and their low-orgasm partner (the man they had the most difficulty orgasming with – or didn’t at all). The women rated each partner on all sorts of personality traits, physical attributes, and even things like body odour. Then the women described what each guy did in bed, like whether he was open to talking about different sex positions and how long he spent on foreplay.
Nice guys give good orgasms!
High-orgasm men do indeed have winning personalities, the results showed. The guys who were the best orgasm-givers were funny, creative, emotionally warm, and faithful. They also smelled good. So it is possible that when a woman has no trouble reaching orgasm with a man, it’s a sign he’d be a good life partner.
But what a guy does in bed also plays a major role. High-orgasm men were more attentive lovers: they focused on their partner’s pleasure, talked about positions that worked for her, were into oral sex, spent time on foreplay, and used sex toys.
So it seems to be a combination of a positive personality and being attentive in bed that makes a guy a good lover. Typically manly physical attributes like being dominant, athletic, and muscular, didn’t seem to be enough to make a man a high-orgasm partner.
Reference: Testing the mate-choice hypothesis of the female orgasm: disentangling traits and behaviours. Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology. (2016) 6: 31562.
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