Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

How can I change my gender?

By Auntyji Saturday, April 22, 2017 - 09:57
Auntyji, I was born with male body parts but I am attracted to boys. I don't feel like a boy or a man. I want to be and live like other girls. What should I do? Ajit (22), Gurgaon.

Auntyji says… Hey Ajit! Let's see what we can do to make the situation better. Give me a smile now...

Packaging mix up

Ajit puttar, sometimes our gender identity is at clash - with our body and with ourselves. It’s like one got packaged in someone else’s wrapping paper.  The core is just perfect, the packing got confused.

Beta, do you know how many sexual and gender identities there are? Tinder allows you to identify some 49 or 59 or maybe 69! Ab batao! You are just a lovely ole trans gal in this entire lot – not a very big deal, is it?

Everyone recognises us from the way we look and behave to the world outside. Who and what we are inside, only we know.


This is something you must do too. Look inwards. I needn’t tell you how tough it is, you are living it. Get prepared. Get informed. Begin your research online. Talk to as many people as you can. You’d be surprised to know there are so many folks just like you making their presence felt worldwide. Also, meet other trans people – their stories will clarify many of your own doubts.

Read more about transgender here!

Get the info right

I would also suggest contacting a credible support group or NGO that works on issues of gender and sexual identity.


Beta, there are so many nuances and so many layers in understanding sexuality and varies from individual to individual. So it is important that you get a good understanding of your needs and desires before you decide to make any changes to your body or to the way you live.

For example, do you like cross-dressing? You can like to dress as a woman and yet remain a boy.

Or do you want to give up this body? Do you feel that your body is not yours and you’d actually be happier with another body with female parts?

Are you thinking about a transition from male to female? Some of it or all of it? Beta, you need to have clear answers to these questions before you make any decision. If you cannot find these answers by yourself, you should speak to a counsellor.

And once you have decided, find the best possible way to move forward. Go to a professional expert and get through the process very carefully. If you choose not to, I would suggest you live and love your body the way it is.

To support us end homophobia, biphobia and transphobia, watch this funny animated video now!


Discriminating diversities

Beta Ajit, get ready for a long haul. The process takes a few years – depending on what you decide.

Secondly, acceptance among people takes even longer. Beta, this world is a bit too straight. I wish it was a bit straightforward. People love to claim diversity but they don’t want to make room for it – so puttarji sabr rakhiyega. Choose your allies carefully and at the same time, go out and do your stuff.

Embark on your journey of becoming yourself. Start a Twitter or Instagram handle and share your powerful struggle and story. You will be shocked to know how many other people may well join you because you are not alone Ajit! Have fun and be super safe.

All our love and jhapphis to you – keep writing to us.

To protect the privacy of the author, the person in the picture is a model.

Do you also feel lost about your identity or orientation? Share it with us via comments or on Facebook. If you have any questions, please visit our discussion forum.

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