Abhinav is a 28-year-old HR manager in Gurgaon.
Ruhi and I have been married for two years. We met, fell in love and dated for three years before taking the plunge into holy matrimony. We were excited about finally living together – alone and free. However, after about two years the excitement died down. We were working 9 to 9 jobs and spent our weekends grocery shopping, paying bills and socialising.
Somewhere we stopped communicating unless it was important. No more impromptu sex, cuddling or even handholding. Even little things like watching our favourite TV show together, giving each other a foot rub or just doing the dishes together weren’t happening. Sometimes one of us was unwell, or the other was working on a big presentation for work or we were behind on household chores. We couldn’t catch a break!
Back to how it was
After a particularly horrible day at work I just wanted to unwind and talk to Ruhi but she had already gone to sleep and had left a note on the fridge saying that dinner was in the microwave, ready to heat. As I sat alone swallowing my rather sad plate of food down, I decided that this was it. I didn’t want this mundane, loveless and sexless existence. I wanted my life and my wife back!
So the next day I left work on time and prepared a simple meal for the two of us. I was putting the finishing touches on the table when Ruhi walked in. It took her a few seconds to grasp what was happening and then she gave that much awaited beautiful smile of hers and I knew we were on to something!
Hitting ‘refresh’
During dinner I told Ruhi (while gently stroking her hand, something I hadn’t done in the longest time) what I felt was missing from our marriage. Also how I wanted us to reconnect before we became a lost cause. Initially she was defensive thinking that I was blaming her for the rut we were stuck in. I assured her that I was equally at fault and the both of us had to work towards making us the happy couple we used to be.
We realised sex needed to be part of our routine because it wasn’t happening spontaneously. We also agreed that work, as important as it is, shouldn’t consume our lives and leaving on time from work for half the month is acceptable. Finally, we decided to have some alone time apart from one another to rejuvenate, like going to the gym or a spa. Anything that makes us happy from within.
Once we started following this new “routine” the quality of our lives improved considerably. We felt like our old selves. We started trying other activities such as sexting each other or making out while watching a porn film together. Soon a little touch or gaze would ignite good sexual tension! We looked forward to being with each other. Keeping our relationship exciting and fresh is solid work but so worth the effort.
Have you experienced monotony in your relationship? What did you do to change it? Share your experiences with us by leaving a comment below or on Facebook.
This article was first published on 07.07.2014.