Arun is a 23-year-old law student in Lucknow.
I was twenty when I first had sex with my then girlfriend, Nidhi. It had just been a minute and I came. We both laughed it off saying that the excitement of doing it for the first time must have been too much. But I came equally soon when we had sex for the second time that night. However since the both of us were inexperienced we didn’t realise it was a problem. We were a couple for two years until I decided to break up with her.
Nidhi was predictably upset and we had a heated argument during which she said, “At least I can now find a real man who will satisfy me!” When I asked her what she meant by that she scornfully said, “My girlfriends have a good laugh every time I tell them you’re the true definition of a quickie. You come before we even get started! I stayed with you only because I felt sorry for you. Good luck finding a woman and keeping her!”
Angry, depressed and embarrassed
Despite being aware that a lot of what Nidhi said came from a place of anger, I also knew, deep down, she wasn’t far from the truth. The few times we had had sex (we did it like once a month, because it was hard to find a place or she was travelling for work frequently), I would come in a matter of seconds after penetration.
After breaking off with her I went on a quite a few dates and some of them ended with sex. Unfortunately each time I came too soon and once I even came before I could manage to penetrate. None of those women called me ever again!
I was depressed, angry and so embarrassed that I just stopped dating. I didn’t want to face the rejection and humiliation. I couldn’t stand being made fun of. My social life was me sitting in front of the television every night either drinking or eating myself to sleep. To make matters worse, all of my friends were in relationships or going out on dates.
A common problem
Thanks to some internet research I figured out my problem is called premature ejaculation (PE) but I was too much of “man” to go to a doctor. Eventually better sense prevailed and I went to a doctor to discuss my PE problem. I was so self-conscious and terrified of speaking about something so personal.
Luckily the doctor sensed I was uncomfortable and put me at ease. Once I started talking I couldn’t stop. To my relief he said PE was a problem he deals with often and different types of treatment work for different people. We started with counselling, techniques I could use while having sex as well certain medications I could try if nothing else worked.
It took me months to get to a point where I felt confident about my skills in the bedroom. However I wisely worked on other ways to pleasure my sexual partner such as foreplay and oral sex. And now I have a wonderful and most understanding girlfriend and we are enjoying the sex as well as our journey together!
Person in the picture is a model. Names have been changed.
Have you ever suffered from premature ejaculation? Would you like to share your experiences? You could definitely stay anonymous if you wish. Please leave your comments below or on Facebook.