Love Matters

Morning-after pills instead of condoms – is that OK?

Submitted by Auntyji on Thu, 06/29/2017 - 21:32
Hi Auntyji. My boyfriend has stopped using condoms – says sex is more fun without them. But he ensures that I use emergency contraceptive pills (ECP) for protection. But it is now impacting my periods. What should I do? Mona, 24, Jalandhar.

Auntyji says... Sawaal yeh hai beta – whose protection are we talking about – his or yours?

First you

Pehle toh Mona – I am a bit let down with you and you ladkis in general. Beta body kiski hai?  Who ought to love it, protect it, respect it – not the padosi, not your mom, not the men in your life and family – but YOU. Bache I say this to all you young women – hundreds of times. Respect your body, love your  body – no one will do it for you unless you do It yourself. Samjhe puttar?

At what cost

Now let's talk about your boyfriend who has given up condoms for the love of self pleasure. We all love pleasure. But what’s the pleasure in you popping hormonal pills so that he gets great sex. Excuse me? Kamaal hai! He wants better sex and you and your body have to 'pay' for it?  What about what that is doing to your body, even to your mind? This constant worry - being hassled and nervous. These are not signs of good sex!

Care or control

Ab tussi kahoge, 'But I don’t want to lose him, Auntyji'. Fine, I understand. You have invested a lot in this relationship. But beta, should he not be housing the same sentiment? 'I don't want to lose her, hurt her or harm her'. This fear ought to be moving him to change his behavior, nahi? But do you know why he is not worried of 'losing' you? Because you have made him feel so. You keep taking those pills – you keep agreeing to his demands – and he now thinks that’s just perfect!  You mistake this for care and love, not realizing what harm you are causing your body and your sense of self as well. This is not care beta, it's control, it's niyantran of your body – your choices.

Final call

That's it. No more pill popping. Gift him a set of sexy condoms. Use mood enhancers for love making. Try new positions and sexify your routine. But make sure - Enter Only Under Cover! Let your periods find their mojo – get back on track. Let your body recuperate. Eat well. Rest well. Exercise well. And your mantra? My body, my control. Right Mona? Go do it. It's not a rejection of his idea of sex – it’s an affirmation of your own body and your rights.

To protect the privacy of the author, the person in the picture is a model.

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