My wife’s period is late, but I’m not ready for kids – help!

Auntyji says… Oh ho, look who seems troubled now! Puttar, wait, take a breath, calm down, go get a glass of water, take a big sip and then start reading this.

First things first

Firstly, how about you do that home pregnancy test? At least find out if she is actually pregnant or is it just a body thingy? Things can change course in a woman’s body you know – it’s not exactly a computer. Not that those are very reliable either! Do a test puttar! Today!

Two points of view

Okay puttar, I hear you. You don’t want a child yet. Do we know why? Is it just the thought of a baby in the premises that is freaking you out? Or have you given this decision enough thinking? Why do you want to postpone having a child?

There is another key player in this decision - your beloved wife!

Jhalleya, it’s her body – it’s her life. She has to have the final word on this matter. You better be clear on that.

You can’t decide on your own, puttar! You have to sit down and discuss the pros and cons of keeping the pregnancy or terminating it. You must be able to express your feelings and doubts and hear out her thoughts as well. The trouble will be when you are saying ‘Nay’ and she is ready to yell ‘YAY’!

Ready and steady

Beta, I couldn’t agree with you more. One must have kids only when one is completely ready to have them. You do not go ahead because kabhi na kabhi to karne hi hain, so let’s just do it now!

You should only make plans of having children when you are ready financially, emotionally and most crucially, your relationship with your partner is on a sound and firm footing. That way you both are clear on what you are getting into and how this is going to pan out.

However, unfortunately, things don’t really happen that way mostly, do they? A pregnancy occurs and everyone just adjusts around it. Don’t fall for this system, betaji!

Read our resources on pregnancy and getting pregnant here!

Family and planning

Having a baby means one hell lot of planning, your compatibility with your partner, your financial setting, your careers, goals and ambitions.

The age-old rule that when a baby arrives, everything will be alright is not quite right.

For example, what happens to the hectic travel or work plans you or your wife have when she is pregnant? Will your respective companies support that? Will you be able to take off to take care of her? Can she take care of herself and the baby along with her work, travel and other commitments?

After the delivery, when both of you rush back to work, who will look after the infant? Do you have support? Do you have any help? Will you both be able to deal with the insurmountable expectations of the suddenly emerging family members?

Stop thy panic

So let me repeat myself. First, stop the panic. Then, get that test. After which, make a joint decision. That means ONLY you and her – not the entire neighbourhood.

Betaji, the more you discuss this with other people the more confused you will be. Perhaps, you may even get influenced by what others have to say.

See a doctor soon. Get to a solution. Pretty much in this order! And yes, you may want to review your contraception plan so that you are not in this situation again, soon. Pull out that stock of condoms next time!

To protect the privacy of the author, the person in the picture is a model.

Have you been through periods being delayed or missed? Write your thoughts as comments or on Facebook. If you have a personal question, we suggest Let’s Talk.