Auntyji, what if I'm pregnant?

Auntyji says... O meri beti, wait, listen to me for a minute first. Go get yourself a glass of water, chalo!

Facts first 

How do you know you are pregnant? What early signs of pregnancy do you have? You don’t know for sure, hai na? So sabse pehle, let me give you a little bit of information. Do you know how to check or test pregnancy at home? The fear in your tone tells me that you must have found out enough already, but you also sound like you're suffering a panic attack of sorts.

So listen beta, it's very straight forward. Unless your bf discharges inside your vagina i.e. his sperm enters your vagina, you cannot get pregnant. Unless you are ovulating at the same time, that is you are in the middle of your menstrual cycle and an egg has been released which meets the male sperm and fertilisation happens, you cannot get pregnant.

Now is there any of this you can ascertain? Discharge inside? Do you know if you could have been ovulating then? Check!

Test it

Do you know the early signs of pregnancy? Some people may have many, some will have none. So do not reply on them. Let me tell you how to check pregnancy at home. Now the easier way out is to do a test and do it immediately. Ok I can almost see you going blue in the face, but beti this is the only way. How many days have gone past since you had this episode? If it's over 10 days, just run to the chemist – or make your boyfriend do it. Buy a home pregnancy testing kit, it is very easily available and do the test. You will have a clear answer.

Now the fear is, what if it is positive. First, kick your boyfriend's butt! Then, do it again. I am guessing you don't want to go on with this pregnancy which is why I am now suggesting the next steps. Find a very reliable and dependable doctor or clinic and go and seek advice. Immediately.

Take your dear bf with you everywhere you go... he has to be at your side each step of the way. You may not need a surgical abortion and may even be able to get help with the use of medicines. Don’t panic, get your body in order first.

Do you know how to check pregnancy, test at home? If not, read this article. 

Flip-flop

Ab, you did not want it and he insisted. Do you see a bit of a confusion here? You did not want it and yet you went ahead and you did even not insist on safety – a condom either? Yeh kya baat hui beta? You need to reflect on this, don’t you think? That could have been a point of negotiation, no?

Acts of unsafe sex have all sorts of repercussions for both partners, but mainly they act out in the woman’s body, in the woman’s life, as you can clearly see. More commonly the dice are rolled with the odds against her. She really has much more to deal with vis a vis the man.

Getting it his way

Now for Mr. Insistent! Sometimes we don’t even know it but we are giving into some sort of arm twisting, emotional blackmail. So beta... now you decide what you want to do.

I will always say this sort of behaviour is least wanted in any relationship...and you have to decide how you are going to change it, and change it you must. So you have one very zaroori conversation coming up. Don’t shy away from it.

Also, whatever goes on in your body, mind and soul right now is what you are experiencing personally. What is your bf doing meanwhile? Does he see how worried you are, how terrified? Does he realise he is largely responsible for this? Do you realise this, my dear?

In your control

So get on with it now. No need to kill yourself over this – let’s get clarity and take the required action first. Beta, be careful. It's your body, the right over it should be yours.

You don’t feel like sex and yet go ahead... Ok, I guess people do it for love or whatever, but to not even use precaution shows a defencelessness, a lack of control over yourself... Come on Babita, never again. Take charge my girl!

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

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