WOW!! That's a LOT of terrible things to happen and beta, I can only somewhat imagine what you must be feeling - horrible - I would say. May I suggest beta - please speak to a counsellor - any NGO in your area? Some professional guidance? We can talk here - but your mails may get lost - and delayed - and yet perhaps a better way is to meet someone to clear your ideas and thoughts If this is a regular occurrence - I wonder if it will stop. Also just one thing. Even women - uneducated and with no support - leave their husbands - with their kids and a suitcase - so many of them - and make superb lives for themselves - yes? You have heard? Same applies to you - you are a smart, educated woman - think of yourself as one. Look up NGOs who offer counselling services and go meet a counsellor - just to get a better perspective - that's all. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum