Love Matters India

I ejaculate too soon – help!

Submitted by Auntyji on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 16:02
I suffer from premature ejaculation. I ejaculate too soon when I have sex. How can I make intercourse last longer? Bilal, Delhi.

Auntyji says, 'Bilal betaji, most men aren’t up for sex marathons. So please do not psych yourself out about premature ejaculation - you are not alone!' No, no, I am not making it up. All these hi-fi researchers in Amrica say that at least one in 20 men regularly suffers from premature ejaculation.

Hotha hi rehta hai. And more than a quarter of all men usually come sooner than they’d like. The only problem is that people are just too embarrassed to talk about it. Especially young kids these days prefer to remain cooped up about most things in their life.

Talk to her

That is why, I am glad you decided to share your problem with me. Most importantly I will urge you to share it with your partner if you haven’t already done that.Even more interesting research has shown that about 60% women do not understand this problem.

And without meaning to, they can make things worse. Their words or actions can be the cause of anxiety and stress and this can worsen the problem. So it is better that you tell her all about it and all the treatments that are available to fix it.

Stop-start exercise

My dear puttar, I don’t know if you have heard about the stop and start method. It is an exercise that is usually recommended by sexual therapists and has a success rate of 95%. The idea behind this method is to stop for about 10 to 30 seconds when you come close to climax.

Then you should wait till the urge subsides. Go back to stimulation and repeat the same process. After a few cycles you can let yourself ejaculate.I must tell you that this is a fun exercise that should help you last longer. See the most important advantage of this start stop method is that one learns to control their ejaculation at will. If you are ready to practice, you will be able to last as long as you want.

Treatment programme

Don’t lose hope if this does not work for you after all. Absolutely no harm in reaching out to a professional sex therapist if the need arises. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about here. And as I said earlier premature ejaculation is a very common problem and therefore has a lot of treatments. You kids are living in the age of technology where there is no dearth of innovation.

Recently I was reading about a new, hand-held, battery operated device which is proving to be an effective way to treat premature ejaculation. From what I remember this device is part of a treatment programme called Prolong.

Pardon my forgetfulness betaji, your aunty is growing old you see. But it said that there are no side effects or barriers to accessing the treatment.[Auntyji might not remember the details, but fortunately you can read more in this article: Prolonging the pleasure for hair-trigger lovers ed.]

Pleasure her

One more thing betaji, thinking about your partner’s pleasure, remember there are many ways to please us ladies. There are more ways to make love than just intercourse. In fact only around a third of women ever reach a climax through intercourse alone. So don't just rely on thrusting away with your penis for as long as you can. Also your fingers, your tongue and your imagination! And talk to her about what feels good.

I am sure that by enjoying all that lovemaking has to offer, and with the start-stop exercise and general relaxation, you will do much better. Like I have said earlier, these problems only aggravate with stress. So just keep calm, follow some of my advice and not to worry. All will be well soon.

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

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