Communication is the key
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The communication game

How to talk to your partner about sex, condoms, emotions and everything in between...

Basics of good communication 

We’re not born with the talking and listening skills we need to be good at communication. But we can all develop skills to help us understand our loved ones properly and make sure they understand what we really mean. Communication is bound to go wrong sometimes, but we can get better at it with practice.

Talking–Listening = Zero

Communication is a two-way street: listening is just as important as talking. And when you listen, you should really listen so you can really understand what the other person is saying. So don’t interrupt. Look them in the eyes. And don’t just think about what you want to say next.

Using “I” statements

If you have a disagreement with your partner, it’s best to express your own opinions and feelings. If you say how you feel about something, or how something the other person did affected you, it’s harder for them to brush it aside. After all, no one can argue about how you’re feeling, because only you know that.

Disagreements

For example, say:

“I felt really hurt when you went to the cinema without asking me to join you.’

‘It made me sad when I saw you with your arm around that girl/guy at that party.’

There’s no arguing with this. Your partner can’t say, ‘No, you didn’t feel hurt.’

Compare this to saying ‘It was really thoughtless of you to go to the cinema without asking me.’ Then your partner can just say something like ‘No, it wasn’t, I thought you wouldn’t feel like it.’

Another tip: Don’t bring in what other people think about the situation, or claim you know what your partner is thinking. Like, ‘You know you just put your arm round that girl at the party to make me jealous. And my sister says so too!’ That’s just going to be annoying, and it won’t help your partner to think about your feelings.

Keep your cool

Emotions are healthy and normal. But when you’re feeling emotional, it can be hard to express yourself clearly and listen properly. If you’re feeling furious, for example, it’s probably best to save the conversation for later. Otherwise you might end up saying something you’ll regret. It can even be a good idea to order your thoughts by writing them down before you bring them up with your partner.

Start with a positive, and then come with the critique

If you’ve decided to tell your partner that you’re unhappy or uncomfortable with something, try to do it in a way that doesn’t upset them. One way is to build on a positive.

For example:

‘I love when you pull me close to you, but in the future can you be a little less rough?’

‘Sex with you is wonderful. But could we try… next time?’

Comments
hello aunty ji Meri ek problem hai aunty jimeri shadi ko 2 month hogye hai aur maine abi tak sex ni kiya sirf roleplay kiya hai apni wife ke sath..mein jbi shuru krrta hu romance to mere indar hottness hoti hai pehle fir dhere dhere kam hojati hai aur fir mera penis loose hojata hai khada ni hota roleplay ke waqt khada hota hai lkn jub dalne ka time ata hai to loose hojata hai meri age 29 hai...kya Prblm hai plz batyi aunty plz help me aunty ji
Hello, beta. Kahin aap kisi tension, pressure mein toh nahi hain na? Yeh samjh lijiye ki sex karne ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête. Iss baare mein aur yaha padh lo : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Kiss karne se HIV failne ke chances na ke baraabar hain, Supriya beti. Waise bhi kitne se farak nahi padhta, HIV positive hone se padhta hain. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
shivom anand
Sat, 03/18/2017 - 17:16
mem meri age 22 years h or m abhi tak sayad 2-3 hazaar baar sex kar chuka hu ...or mujhe bahut maja bhi aata h.... i love sex lekin m is time bahut hi pareshaan hu plz meri help karo ...m jese hi apni gf ke paas jata hu or ham sex krtey h tab for play m hi m jhad jata hu.... kayee baar to sirf kiss kartey hi nikal jata h,,,,,, mujhe kisi ne aapke bare m bataya h bahut ummeed se ye msg aapko likh raha hu plz kuch idea do mem m kya karu
Shivom bete, yadi shareer mein uttejna adhik ho, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh sheegra hi patan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisi stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay, yaani bete ki pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaen karna , jinse dono ko anand mile, apne partner ki uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hast maithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehle jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Suraj beta, sex karna do logon ka neeji decision jo dono ki aapsi sehmati ke baad hi liya jaa saktaa hain. Ye sabke liye alag hota hain. Isliye iska decision wahi le sakte hain, jo rishte main hain. Ispe koi samaanyeekrit tipaddi karna sahi nahi hoga. Jo bhi karein, SAFE karein. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Kamranxnx1
Mon, 07/10/2017 - 00:23
Hello aunty, Mujhe apni umar se badi ladkiya auratey aachi lagti hai. Jo mujhse zyada badi ho. Mujhe unke sath sex karne ka bohot mun karta hai. Main kya karu??? Main apney lund ko zyada mazboot, or bada, or zyada mota karna chahta hu. Main kya karu? Mujhe in dono bato ka please jawab de
Hello, beta! Badi umar ki aurton se aakarshit hona common hain. Zara ye writeup padhiye: https://lovematters.in/en/making-love/turned-on-by-older-women-is-that-normal Sorry, bete. Ling ka size badhane ya mota karne ka koi bhi tareeka maujood nahi hai. Ling ke size ki sahi jaankari yahan se hasil kijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/penis-shapes-and-sizes https://lovematters.in/hi/news/penis-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/news/worried-your-penis-too-small https://lovematters.in/hi/news/what-women-penis Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Ye padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/our-bodies/pubic-grooming-dos-and-donts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
yash more
Fri, 04/15/2016 - 10:21
mam maine yek ladki ke sath sex kia hai aur kissing bhi..... aur usaki mummy papa ko Hiv hai.... pr us ladki hiv nahi...hai.. kay muze hiv ho sakta hai.. please say
Beta! Yadi jis viykati ke saath aap unsafe sex kar rahe hain use HIV nhi hai toh HIV hone ki sambhavna nhi hai,lekin phir bhi kisi bhi doubt mein se rehne se achha hai ki ek HIV test zarrur kar lein. Saath hi sex mein Jo bhi karein, SAFE karein. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Try this technique and see if it helps you. Emphasize on your partner's body, and focus on your partner. Involve yourself in foreplay. If you are highly aroused, there is an increase in chances of premature ejaculation. So, you could also masturbate before sex, giving enough time for your body to get an erection again. Condom also helps in prevents premature ejaculation. Read the link given. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts. All. the best If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask” https://lovematters.in/en/forum
mam mene 4 boys ke sath sex kiya hai do ne unsefty. sex kiya or do ne sefty ke sath..or aaj bhi do ke sath unsefty sex krti hu kya muze hiv ho sakta hai
Supriya bete, yadi unme se kisi bhi viykati ko HIV hai toh HIV hone ki sambhavna hai.. Aur yadi unmein se kisi ko bhi HIV nhai hai toh yeh nahi ho SAKTA! lekin phir bhi kisi bhi doubt mein se rehne se achha hai ki ek HIV test zarrur kar lein. Saath hi sex mein Jo bhi karein, SAFE karein. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Auntyji
Fri, 04/21/2017 - 10:44

In reply to by pcohohjtaan

Hi, beta. Hum aapki kya sahayata kar sakte hain? Yadi aap kisi bhee mudde par humse gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
prachi Maheshwari
Wed, 04/26/2017 - 12:21
Mere pati dusre state me job krte h aur mahino tk aate nhi h n main sex k bina reh nai paati Hu aur kahi aur attract hoti jaa rhi Hu Kya Yeh sahi h??
Yeh padhiye: https://lovematters.in/en/news/im-so-lonely-how-can-i-stay-faithful Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
sallu lovee
Tue, 06/20/2017 - 15:38
Aunty mera ling ka size 4 inch hai aur maine pehla sex nahi kiya abhi tak . Aap ye bataiye k main is size se lady ko santusht kar sakta hoon
Ye padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/worried-your-penis-too-small https://lovematters.in/hi/news/what-women-penis Aur please size par mat jao apna andaaz achchha karo unke saath time bithao. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Zaroor poochhiye, beta. Hum poori koshish karenge ki aapko sahi jaankaari ya salaah de sakein. Yadi aap kisi bhee mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Auntyji
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 15:00

In reply to by Kamra 121

Hello, beta. Kaise hain aap? Kya sawaal hain aapka? Yadi aap kisi bhee mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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