Types of sexual acts - what's safe, what's not?

To help you think about how to keep your lovemaking safe, the information below runs through different ways of having sex and the risks they carry for sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancy. The risks described here are if you don’t use protection – condoms, dental dams or contraceptives.

Of course, there are many other kinds of sexual contact apart from the ones mentioned here – too many to include every possibility in detail. But bear this principle in mind: there’s a risk of catching or passing on a sexually transmitted disease, including HIV, if sperm, vaginal fluid or blood comes into contact with a partner’s mucous membrane – that means in the vagina, the end of the penis, or the mouth.

Kissing, tongue kissing

Using your mouth and tongue to touch your partner’s tongue, lips and mouth.

Safe for HIV

Safe for other sexually transmitted diseases. 

If you or your partner has a sexually transmitted disease in your mouth, there’s a small risk of catching or passing on gonorrhoea, syphilis, Candida or hepatitis B.

Safe for pregnancy

Massaging, caressing

Stroking or kneading each others bodies, perhaps using massage oil

Safe for HIV

Safe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Safe for pregnancy

If you have intercourse after massaging, make sure the condom doesn’t come in contact with massage oil. The oil can make the condom break.

Masturbating yourself or your partner

Massaging the penis or clitoris to give yourself or your partner an orgasm.

Usually safe for HIV

Usually safe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Usually safe for pregnancy

There’s a small risk of catching or passing on HIV or another sexually transmitted disease, or of getting pregnant, if you pass sperm, menstrual blood or fluid from the vagina or anus of one person to the vagina or anus of the other person.

You can catch scabies or pubic lice through intimate physical contact.

Dry 'humping'

Rubbing your bodies together for sexual pleasure, either with or without clothes on.

Safe for HIV

Safe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Risk of catching scabies or pubic lice if you have no clothes on.

Safe for pregnancy

Contact between vagina and penis (without intercourse)

Rubbing your genitals together or having them very close together.

Safe for HIV 

- unless sperm or pre-ejaculate (the clear liquid that comes out of the penis when you are aroused but before you come) gets inside the vagina

Unsafe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Risk of catching or passing on hepatitis B, gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, syphilis, genital warts, genital herpes and scabies.

Safe for pregnancy

- unless pre-ejaculate or sperm gets inside the vagina

Contact between vagina and vagina

Rubbing your vaginas together or having them very close together.

Safe for HIV

- unless one person’s vaginal fluid gets inside the other person’s vagina

Unsafe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Risk of catching or passing on hepatitis B, gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, syphilis, genital warts, genital herpes and scabies.

Safe for pregnancy

Contact between penis and penis

Rubbing your penises together or having them very close together.

Safe for HIV

- unless one person’s sperm or pre-ejaculate (the clear liquid that comes out of the penis when you are aroused but before you come) gets inside the other person’s urethra

Unsafe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Risk of catching or passing on hepatitis B, gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, syphilis, genital warts, genital herpes and scabies.

Safe for pregnancy

Vaginal intercourse

The man putting his penis inside the woman's vagina, with or without the man ejaculating or the woman having an orgasm

Unsafe for HIV

Unsafe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Serious risk of catching or passing on hepatitis B, gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, syphilis, trichomoniasis, genital warts, genital herpes, pubic lice and scabies.

Unsafe for pregnancy

Oral sex on a woman

Simulating the vagina and clitoris with your mouth and tongue

Safe for HIV

- unless the woman has her period

Unsafe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Even if the woman does not have her period, there's a risk of catching or passing on hepatitis B, syphilis, herpes, pubic lice if the man has a beard, and scabies through intimate contact

Safe for pregnancy

Oral sex on a man

Simulating the penis with your mouth and tongue

Safe for HIV 

- unless the man comes in your mouth. Then it’s unsafe for the person giving oral sex.

Unsafe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Risk of catching or passing on syphilis, herpes, Chlamydia or gonorrhoea

Safe for pregnancy

Anal intercourse

The man putting his penis inside another person’s anus

Unsafe for HIV

Unsafe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Serious risk of catching or passing on hepatitis B, gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, syphilis, genital warts, genital herpes, pubic lice and scabies.

Safe for pregnancy

Licking the anus

Simulating the anus with your mouth and tongue

Safe for HIV 

- unless the anus is bleeding due to anal sex or haemorrhoids (piles)

Unsafe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Risk of catching or passing on Chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis or hepatitis A.

Safe for pregnancy

Withdrawal

Having intercourse but pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculation

Unsafe for HIV

Unsafe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Serious risk of catching or passing on hepatitis B, gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, syphilis, trichomoniasis, genital warts, genital herpes, pubic lice and scabies.

Unsafe for pregnancy

Sadomasochism (SM)

Sadism is getting sexual pleasure by hurting or dominating another person. Masochism is getting sexual pleasure by being hurt or dominated by another person.

Safe for HIV

Safe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Safe for pregnancy

Safe if there are no cuts or bleeding and equipment or objects are cleaned thoroughly after use.

Using sex toys

Stimulating your partner using sex toys such as dildos or vibrators.

Safe for HIV

Safe for other sexually transmitted diseases

Safe for pregnancy

Safe if you use a sex toy on one person only or clean the toy well before using it on another person. You can also put a condom on a vibrator or dildo. Change the condom before using the toy on another person.