© Love Matters | Rita Lino
How to discuss porn with your partner
Not everyone enjoys porn. For some it’s just not a turn-on. But if it’s something you enjoy, then it’s important to discuss this with your partner.
- You can start a conversation by simply asking your partner their feelings on the subject.
‘I was thinking we could watch a porn film, what do you think?’
- Don’t just show them pornographic images or a film without first giving them a chance to express their opinions. Don’t get angry if they’re not interested.
- You can try explaining to your partner why you would like to watch porn and what you enjoy about it. And say it’s something you would like to enjoy together.
‘I would really like to watch this with you, so we can get horny together.’
- If your partner is up for it, then you can have fun finding porn you both like. BUT… be careful when using the internet to look for porn. You can come across images that you might find upsetting or disturbing.
- And remember that searching for porn is never totally private, even if you go ‘incognito’ in your browser, or wipe your browser history.
- Porn can also become addictive and harmful to relationships. Over time, you may start needing harder and more extreme images and videos to get the same level of pleasure. If the amount of time you’re watching porn is building up and taking over from your real sex life, then it’s time to cut down before you damage your relationship.
- If your partner doesn’t want to watch porn, or you haven’t had the conversation yet, try not to look at it secretly behind their back. If they ever find out, they may well feel sad, angry, jealous or rejected.
- It’s okay to say NO if porn is not for you. Don’t feel pressured into watching or looking at porn with your friends or partner. And if are into it, don’t feel you have to try everything you see.
- REMEMBER: Real sex isn’t like porn. Porn is a fantasy. You should never aim to copy everything you see, watch or hear about. (Unless you want to.)
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