Suitable for 18+

Arranged Marriage

Indian couple speaking to each other.
There’s not one single formula for arranged marriages. It all depends on your family background. In some cultures, parents, relatives or a matchmaker find a match for the boy and girl once they reach a marriageable age.

The bride and groom may or may not meet before the wedding day. But the final decision about the marriage rests with the parents of the bride and groom.

Some families do it differently. Parents or relatives find a suitable partner for their boy or girl. They then introduce the couple to each other. The couple meets once or several times to see if they like each other and if they are compatible. Depending on how they feel about each other, they decide whether they’d like to get married or not. These kinds of marriages, where the families only introduce the boy and girl but leave the final decision to them, are known as ‘introduced arranged marriages’.

Nowadays many people find a spouse through online matrimonial sites. Matrimonial sites are different from dating sites, since people register not to find dates, but potential life partners. Once you’re on a matrimonial site, you could look for a partner based on your choice of race, religion, caste, economic status and even profession!

Some popular matrimonial sites in India: bharatmatrimony.com, jeevansaathi.com, shaadi.com, simplymarry.com.

For more about finding a spouse online, check out Tips: using a matrimonial site

Getting married is not only about the ceremony and having a good time. That’s just the beginning of a lifelong partnership – in the case of an arranged marriage, with a person you hardly know.

In a lot of arranged marriages, the man or woman could face pressure to conform to their family’s wishes. If you are considering an arranged marriage, here are a few tips that might help you along the way:

  • Ask yourself if you are ready to be married.
    Your parents might think that you’re of a marriageable age, but are you ready enough to give a full time commitment to a new person in your life? Think about the kind of changes it will have on your lifestyle. How would it affect your social life and your professional life? Would you be able to handle the changes?
     
  • Think through your new responsibilities.
    Not only to your partner but also to their family and friends. There will be a lot of interaction, keeping up relationships and maintaining cordial relations with new people. People will have expectations of you. Are you ready to deal with them?
     
  • Sort out the finances.
    Will your spouse be working? If not, would you be able to support them? Are you expecting a contribution to the family expenses? Have you discussed this?
     
  • Insist on having a meeting 
    With your proposed spouse before making any decision. Of course it makes sense to see them and find out if your personalities match before you decide to spend the rest of your life together.
     
  • Be honest when you meet your could-be partner.
    Don’t start a potentially life-long relationship with a lie. Tell them openly about your past life and what your expectations are from the future.
     
  • Listen to their story.
    Give them a chance to open up to you. Try your best to ease the pressure off the situation.
     
  • Let them know
    Whether or not you think they are a potential mate. Tell them how you feel. Keep your family informed too. But take your time. Often when you first meet someone, you can’t see the difficult side of their personality. Give yourself time to discover each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
     
  • Let your parents know what the weak links are. If your parents are expecting you to be married to someone you find incompatible, explain the situation and reassure them that this won’t be the last chance you’ll have to be married.

Read more about your right to choose a partner