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Obsessions about female ass and other news

By Steve Korver Thursday, June 9, 2016 - 06:00
Why does the anus get such a bum rap? … Is the rectum our most sunny organ? … Do we all begin life as assholes? … These news flashes and more in this week’s Sex in the Press.

Happy, shiny rectum

Contrary to popular belief, the ass reflects much optimism.

For example, you can be fairly optimistic that you won’t get pregnant if you apply it for sex. (But never say never: ‘A woman has become pregnant from anal sex, doctor claims’. Apparently, “the woman had a rare condition which resulted in her bladder, vagina and rectum not separating normally during early developmental stages.”)

Countless stories exist about people being overly optimistic about what they can fit up their ass. One recent example: ‘Man arrested in Sri Lanka for smuggling gold bars in rectum’.

Then there’s the story of the doctor who optimistically believes he can cure various aches and pains with his ‘anal massage’ technique. "I have a personality disorder, or rather a syndrome, a form of Asperger’s. Just like Bill Gates or Einstein, for example," he says in his defence in ‘Sweden's “Doctor Anal” loses his medical licence’. "I have made it impossible for myself within the healthcare sector because I behave childishly sometimes. I am different, but cleverer."

Then there are all those overly optimistic law enforcement officers around the world who believe they can identify whether a man is gay based on a rectal examination – even though the procedure is deemed “medically worthless”, according to ‘Kenya faces calls to end forced anal examinations of gay men’.

And then there’s that ultimately optimistic question: ‘Are you still a virgin if you've only had anal?’.

Think about that next time you’re laughing at a fart joke.

Anus evolution

Is it true that the human lips are made of the same material that surrounds the human anus?’.

“Absolutely. The formation of primitive gut is one of the first stages of development. After some initial cell replication from the zygote, we begin as a hollow ball of cells. An area that will eventually become our anus on that ball folds inward (invaginates) and stretches all the way across to the other side creating a new opening. This new opening is the primitive mouth. Think about that next time you're kissing someone.”

Think about that next time you’re smiling.

Think about that next time you’re laughing at a fart joke.

The origin of the anus is actually a story about how animals evolved, diverged from one another, and became sophisticated creatures.

Put that taboo in your yahoo

Not all animals have an exit, according to the fascinating ‘The origin of the anus’.

“Those that do have an anus, an organ we can’t help but smirk and joke about, have vastly improved digestion. They can eat and grow more effectively, and reach much larger sizes. And the story of the origin of the anus is actually a story about how animals evolved, diverged from one another, and became sophisticated creatures.”

So let’s show a little respect, please.

In fact, some scientists believe that the anal opening co-evolved with our sexual organs. Unfortunately very little related research has been undertaken due to stigmas around the subject.

“But this is how nature is – nature does not care about taboos in human society,” says one involved scientist. “Maybe our research can contribute to change the discourse about the subject and communicate about it more openly.”

It’s been described as “the very ground zero of gayness”.

Ass: the grand unifier

“Jonathan Allen’s book is a serious work of theory,” according to ‘Reading from Behind: A Cultural Analysis of the Anus review – getting to the bottom of “anal theory”’.

The book is already up for a prize for oddest title of the year. If it wins against such stiff competitors as Too Naked for the Nazis, it will stand in a straight line with the 2013 winner: How to Poo on a Date.

The author is “someone who feels passionately that all too often, in literary criticism and contemporary life, the anus gets a bum rap. Is he right? Allen cites popular putdowns – arsehole, pain in the arse, ass wipe – and laments that ‘the anus remains covered, hidden away, a site of humiliation and disgust’. Popularly it’s associated with homosexuality (it’s been described as “the very ground zero of gayness”), excrement, sterility, powerlessness.”

But for Allen, ass is an idea as much as it’s a body part: because “’we all have an anus regardless of race, orientation, ability’, it shouldn’t refer to individuals who are uptight or repressed, but should rather recall the emancipatory goal of proclaiming our common humanity.”

Indeed, we are all united in ass. So let’s celebrate with an optimistic smile!


Do you have any sunny ass stories to share? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook. If you have any questions, visit our discussion board.

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