Angry water balloons
“Medically, physiologically, anatomically – breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra,” says Professor Rouillon in ‘Women around the world react to controversial bra study’.
After 15 years of study, the professor believes that wearing bras hinders the development of back muscles that are better suited to holding breasts in place over time. However he also admits that his research is not yet truly representational. “We will simply have to recruit a larger sample of the female population, and conduct further research,” states the tireless Frenchman.
Some people celebrated his life’s work: "It was so easy, so beautifully simple. It took a genius to see it. A genius and a set of calipers."
Others were less impressed: “This might work for women who are small, or who are rather sedentary. Frankly I'd rather keep the 'girls' tied down as they tend to jiggle like angry water balloons every time I need to take a quick jog to the car.”
The freedom of butterflies
“Is clothing crushing us? Are we trapped in tomb-like textiles, exiling our flesh from experiencing the environment? Are we atrophying our epidermis, our senses, our neuro-intelligence?” wonders ‘Nudity provides health benefits for your body and brain’.
“We hide in cocoons, when we could be free as butterflies.”
Regular doses of recreational nudity have been embraced by peoples across history and cultures. Ancient Greeks believed in the power of nude exercise so much that they created the word ‘gymnasium’ (gymnos = naked). And at this very moment, perhaps some of you readers are indulging in the universal phenomena of ‘NIFOC’ (Naked In Front Of Computers).
Nudity has proven benefits. The brains of infants are known to develop quicker during their daily naked time as they explore their worlds without constriction. More exposed skin area also means we can absorb more vitamin D from the sun. Without tight hot trousers, our sperm is less likely to boil to death.
“Health benefits of social nudity include stress reduction, satiation of curiosity about the human body, reduction of porn addiction, a sense of full-body integration and developing a wholesome attitude about the opposite gender,” continues the article. It almost sounds too good to be true!
But there are also disadvantages. If we all went nude and the global clothing market crashed, countless child labourers would be out of a job.
A perfect world
In the opinion piece ‘Lagos schools, hijab and the sovereignty of the state’, author Adeolu Ademoyo argues that if the Nigerian government allows religious uniforms, such as hijab headscarves worn by Muslim women, into the country’s public schools, they will also have to accept nudists.
“The republic's citizens in their plural and diverse wisdom have tacitly and explicitly acceded to the sovereignty of the state to refuse to designate nakedness as a dress code in public elementary and high schools. Thus, one cannot give sovereignty to a state on one way of life and withdraw it on another. This will be inconsistent, incoherent and indefensible,” writes Ademoyo.
But then again, if both hijab-wearers and nudists were welcomed into the classrooms of Nigeria, these groupings could become glowing tributes to the power of plurality and human diversity. And isn’t that something worth stripping down for?
Do you believe in the power of social nakedness? Or do you have a hot news story you want to pass on to us? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.