banana penis

Penises for a better world

By Steve Korver Thursday, May 26, 2016 - 11:29
Phallus activism … Dick lipstick … Erection engineering … China bans bananas… These news flashes and more in this week’s Sex in the Press.

Banning bananas

“Beijing-controlled broadcaster CCTV said authorities had barred live-streaming platforms from airing videos in which bananas are ‘seductively’ consumed by young female presenters,” according to ‘Gone bananas: China bans “erotic” eating of the fruit on live streams’.

Banana censorship is in line with President Xi’s calls to purify the internet.

“The internet is an important carrier to spread mankind’s fine cultures and promote positive energy,” Xi has been quoted as saying – ignoring that bananas are, in fact, an excellent source of natural energy.

Live streaming is booming – and largely unregulated – business in China. Hundreds of streaming sites exist, with market leader YY claiming to have 120 million active users.

“The audience for live streams is almost entirely male, according to reports in the domestic media, but the content varies hugely. YY users, for example, can tune into live streams in which presenters draw dogs, play drums, put on their makeup, sing, dance, cook, dine or take care of their skin.”

Some Chinese citizens fear that children could be exposed to some of the more risqué streams. “I think there is a need for the government to do some supervising in this respect,” says one sociologist.

But what phalluses will the Chinese government ban next? High-rises? Asparagus? Or both?

The Oriental Pearl TV Tower in Shanghai (pictured) was once described by the New York Times as a “great phallic monster of truly monumental ugliness, a bit like an enormous asparagus with a silver ball on top."

Obviously, the architects weren’t thinking about the children when they came up with that one.

Penises. Everywhere.

It’s somewhat futile to fight the penis since penises are already everywhere. There are penis festivals, penis parks, penis museums, penis restaurants and even penis countries.

And in most cases, phalluses are just good, clean fun – whether they are used for lipstick shapes or vibrators.

Some phalluses are even making the world a safer place. For example in the UK: ‘Phantom phallus graffiti crusader strikes again filling Cock Lane potholes with giant penis pictures’.

“The frustrated motorist known as the 'Cock Lane Crusader' daubed the residential lane with phallic drawings to force the local council to fix the damaged surface.”

"It's quite funny, but he has got a point,” said one observer. "The potholes were supposed to be filled three years ago. It is dangerous. People try to avoid them and have their eyes on the road, but not on kids who might run out."

Curious to know more about penis shapes and sizes? Watch our animated video now!







Think of the children

The engineering miracle that is the penis can also be used to make the world a better place on a technological level, according to ‘What engineers can learn from the design of the penis’.

“Erect, the penis is ‘a virtually puncture-proof balloon that can be re-inflated at will,’ the journalist David M. Friedman wrote in A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis, ‘no matter how often it has gone flat in the past, and why.’”

The American academic Diane Kelly, who has been researching the penis for 20 years, believes that the penis’s unique properties can be applied to countless medical applications for humans: “[It’s] also relevant in a broad sense, I think, to the design of prosthetics, soft robots, basically anything where change in shape and stiffness are important,” Kelly says.

Perhaps one day, the technology can even be used to deflate the Shanghai skyline whenever any children pass by.

Has a phallus changed your life for the good? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook. If you have any questions, visit our discussion board.

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