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The day jobs of sex dolls

By Steve Korver Thursday, July 7, 2016 - 06:00
Sex dolls are mostly associated with the squeaky-squeaky. But currently, they are taking on more non-traditional roles – from espionage to trendwatching… These news flashes and more in this week’s Sex in the Press.

Your new best friend

Lonely pensioners fuel surge in sales of inflatable SEX DOLLS in China as they struggle to find new partners’.

“Some of these aging men have been widowed while others have found that their wives are no longer interested in sex. Tragically, some of these men are also seeing these dolls as companions in life as they no longer have regular contact with their children.”

The widower Li usually keeps his doll deflated in the cupboard. “Occasionally, however, he puts the doll out and dresses it in his late wife's clothing just to have a cup of tea.”

Perhaps one day, the two will even be able to chat, if the American company described in ‘Sex dolls that talk back’ has its way.

Scaring birds and other pests

Also in China: ‘Farmers using sex dolls as scarecrows to keep vermin (and people) away from crops’.

But inflatable scarecrows seems to be a global trend. Also, in the UK: ‘Farmer uses blow-up sex doll as a scarecrow after feeling let down by traditional methods’.

Interestingly enough, some scholars theorise that before the rise of the plastics industry, scarecrows often fulfilled the roles now played by sex dolls – but then with more rustle than squeak. (And as we know, history has a way of repeating itself in dramatic ways: ‘Argentinian man dies during sex with scarecrow he strapped sex toy on’.)

The spy who shagged me

Ex-CIA disguise expert reveals how sex dolls tricked KGB during Cold War’.

“Mr. McIntosh came up with the idea to use the pleasure dolls as decoys. The dolls were modified to look like men, appropriately clothes and rigged up with airbag technology to pop out of a container like a child’s ‘jack-in-the-box’ or JIB.”

“A CIA officer en route to a secret meeting with his spy would take a JIB along in his car, deflated and sealed inside a hidden package. The CIA driver would slowly add distance between the agents and their KGB shadows until the night hours. Eventually, the operative in the passenger seat would crack open his door as the car rounded a corner and slip out, disguised as an ordinary Muscovite. The driver would then trigger the JIB, putting a lifelike dummy in the passenger’s place and fooling the KGB.”

“We went through quite a few in preparing a prototype,” recalls McIntosh. “As I was buying four or five at a time and often over a period of a few weeks, I am sure I got quite a reputation.”

Objects of worship

A sex doll was rescued from the sea by a fisherman and was adopted by his family, according to ‘Indonesia police confiscate sex toy mistaken for “angel”’.

“Photos of the doll dressed demurely and wearing a hijab spread on social media shortly after its discovery. Rumours then began to spread that it was a ‘bidadari’ along with unverified stories about how it was found ‘stranded and crying’, prompting the police investigation.”

"They have no internet, they don't know what a sex toy is," the police chief concluded.

Trendwatchers

“Yes, of course, there are trends on the runways of Milan. Or on the red carpets of Los Angeles. Or in the photo studios of New York City. Then there are the hair and makeup trends that are sweeping the sex-doll industry,” according to ‘What sex dolls (yes, sex dolls) can reveal about beauty trends’.

"We get requests depending on the trends of the day,” says the CEO of Real Dolls, a company that makes customised sex dolls.

“In the 1990s, everyone wanted thinner brows and breasts that looked surgically enhanced. Now the trend is natural. People want thicker brows and a more natural body – smaller breasts, even a bit of body fat. It’s subtle stuff, but the bodies people want are not perfectly toned. The only trend that’s not on the natural side is the lipstick – everyone is asking for popping red lipstick these days.”

Then there’s this fashionista: ‘Look out, human Barbie! Katella Dash spends $100K on plastic surgery to look like a “walking blow up sex doll”!’.

No judgement, but I wouldn’t recommend that Ms Dash gives up her day job.

Do you know of any other non-traditional uses for sex dolls? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook. If you have any questions, visit our discussion board.

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