Aunty ji says, ‘Hello hello mere pyaaron.... worry not, aa gayi hain Babli ki dost Lovely!’
Old wine – new bottle
No doubt, you are looking at me, the new Auntyji! But actually, think of me as your old soap or any such item you need every day. Only thing – I am packed differently.
Beta jaan – do not worry at all. Aisa samjho that I am your old Auntyji in a new packing – that’s all. Why worry?
Do you know your pehle waali Aunty ji and I are –what do you call them now –gal pals. In fact, we hang out a lot, talk and discuss your issues and questions on love, sex and relationships and very often your Auntyji used to take my advice as well.
Isn’t that what gal pals do? Hun, your dooji Aunty ji has taken sanyas and gone for duniya darshan! But not to worry, I will be here with you – in your times of need and deed. Oye khoteya, not that type of need or deed, puttar – just like your years with Aunty ji.
Master of it all
Aap pooch rahe ho ki can I help you with love and sex ki baatein. Oye puttar, I have spent my whole life studying these matters. Jo baaki tha, life has taught us beta ji. I may look very young and sexy – but I am actually very young, sexy and wise too.
Dasso – lethal weapon hain ki nahin? So don’t worry – you are in very good hands.
Say it loud
But before we start the new year addressing all your chota and mota troubles, let me give you some of my fundas.
Pehle toh, all you navyuvas (young people!) the time to talk behind covers and in whispers is gone. It’s the time to be vocal and say it forward. If you need to talk about something, talk. If you need advise, seek. If you need to ask about something, ask!
You ask and I will definitely talk about it – as bluntly as you want, and as clearly as you prefer. Bas yeh hai that we have to be a bit careful of the mahaul – aakhir not everyone is as mature as you are.
Beta ji – even today girls are shy talking about periods and boys ashamed of masturbating. Is this even half sensible, half fair? Let’s get together and bring these issues out in the open, to discuss, to understand and to resolve, once and for all.
I want to welcome each of you to this page, this column. I assure you it’s going to get even more exciting – more and more fun agar, tum saath do. And who knows we may meet face to face this year!
However, one thing I promise you-you keep up with your daily dose of Love Matters India and I will keep the facts with fun – intact! Done deal?
So to all my betajan – my puttar ji, my betaji – each of you – boy/girl, bit of boy a lot of girl and any other such combo packs – whoever you are – your Aunty ji is ready to get talking to all of you.
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