Partners in crime
Sex and alcohol can fit together like a condom on a penis. In fact: ‘Sex and alcohol make you happier than having kids and religion’, according to a study from New Zealand.
But usually the two subjects collide to create more sensationalistic headlines – such as with ‘Mom who drunkenly played naked Twister with teens avoids jail time’. (Sound familiar? Yes, we’ve all been there…)
In other words, sex and alcohol are engaged in an edgy dance.
Drink a bit and you might loosen up enough to open yourself to new experiences. Drink too much and you might engage in risky sexual behaviour.
Drink a bit and your penis gets hard. Drink a lot and your penis gets soft…
Stick to beer?
“You may have heard of this theory called ‘whiskey penis,’ where a man who has had too much to drink can’t seem to get an erection when the moment is right. However, as you can tell, the name of that theory has whiskey in it, which relates to alcohol as a whole. Beer lovers, though, should be happy to know that beer actually makes you awesome at sex,” according to ‘Beer makes you awesome at sex, according to a new book’.
Apparently beer has four sex benefits: 1) it delays premature ejaculations, 2) the iron in dark beers boosts libido and intensifies erections, 3) moderate beer drinkers have a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease which is linked to increased sexual stamina, and 4) it’s easier on your stomach than other alcohols and therefore reduces the chance of vomiting – which is generally a mood killer.
Let’s add a 5th reason: Mmmm beer.
Sex without goggles
“I stopped drinking at the age of 35, roughly two decades into my sex life. I was scared to quit for a lot of reasons. I thought I'd be boring. I thought other people would be boring. When you drink as long, and lovingly, as I did, you will find a lot of excuses not to hang up your beer mug. But nothing frightened me as much as sex without alcohol. As in, no way. Not happening,” according to the thoughtful ‘Sobering up, and facing the reality of sex without “liquid courage”’
For years, the writer followed a basic strategy while engaging in casual sex: “Scared to be seen naked? Drink. Scared he doesn't like you? Drink. Scared you don't like him? Oooh, honey, drink up.”
And when she quit: “I stayed in my hidey-hole for more than a year, and I had an imaginary love affair with a barista named Johnny. Sometimes the little things get you through.”
“I began to inch back into the dating world, more slowly than I wanted but more confident with each passing month, and what I noticed was how much I actually cared about physical intimacy. I'd spent all these years trying to detach myself and pretend none of it was a big deal, but my experience was leading me to the opposite conclusion. Sex was a big deal to me.”
And finally she got payback: “Giving up alcohol didn't end my sex life. You could argue it made it more thrilling. There is something rare and radical about daring to be fully present, and fully revealed, to another person. It scares the hell out of me sometimes, but the fear of vulnerability is part of the price of real connection.”