Sex loves a good story
Sex and storytelling go together like a plug in a socket.
The web is always awash with articles such as ‘Watch: 10 craziest sex stories of all time’ or ‘Women are sharing their sex stories on Twitter and guys are freaking out’.
Sex also plays a starring role in most literary genres. Romance… Tragedy… Horror…
(So why does porn usually treat plot and character development with disdain?)
Good storytellers are hot
“Storytelling is a fundamental form of communication, and research has demonstrated the power of narratives to change minds and influence behaviour,” according to ‘Can being a good storyteller lead to love?’.
Three recent studies showed that “women rated men who were good storytellers as more attractive and desirable as long-term partners.”
“Our findings suggest that male storytelling ability may suggest resource-gaining prowess to women – especially if good storytellers can gain higher social status,” says one of the researchers.
“In ancient societies, those who were best able to explain (what were considered) supernatural phenomena might have risen to positions of power. Another theory argues that humans gained significant survival benefits through their ability to think flexibly, and that storytelling is a form of cognitive play that can train the mind in this way.”
Another theory could be that the Stone Age was so boring that there was nothing better to do than sit around, tell stories and hopefully score with a chick in a fur toga.
In William Shakespeare’s time, the word ‘conversation’ meant two things – verbal discourse, and sex.
Keeping the story alive
“In William Shakespeare’s time, the word ‘conversation’ meant two things – verbal discourse, and sex,” according to ‘Why good storytellers are happier in life and in love’.
“It feels wonderful to tell someone your stories when you are first becoming intimate. Think of the people you have been in love with in your life. I bet that at least once early in your relationship you stayed up all night talking, telling stories that were revealing and illuminating. That deep communication is sexy.”
“It is empowering to the teller because they get recognition from the listener. And it is empowering to the listener because it helps them understand the teller.”
But then in long-term relationships, the conversation can get boring.
Couples visiting marriage therapists are often told to tell each other about their side of events, and then weave these two stories into a cohesive whole. “It’s a way to build and maintain a bond over shared history,’ says one therapist.
Lies, all lies
“Stories bring us together. We can talk about them and bond over them. They are shared knowledge, shared legend, and shared history; often, they shape our shared future. Stories are so natural that we don’t notice how much they permeate our lives. And stories are on our side: they are meant to delight us, not deceive us – an ever-present form of entertainment,” according to ‘How stories deceive’.
“And that’s precisely why they can be such a powerful tool of deception.”
And that’s precisely why advertising agencies and pick-up artists are continually fine-tuning their storytelling skills.
“The more a story transported us into its world, the more we were likely to believe it – even if some details didn’t quite mesh.”
“Arouse us emotionally and we will identify with you and your plight. Keep us cold, and empathy won’t blossom.”
This process continues until you are almost asphyxiated by excitement. And then, and then, and then…
What makes a good story?
Many theories exist on what makes a good story. One way to describe a good story:
1) You meet a character whose situation grabs you by the throat.
2) Then with every new detail or action, you get increasingly throttled.
3) This process continues until you are almost asphyxiated by excitement. And then, and then, and then…
4) Climax and release.
Sound familiar? Exactly: a story is sex, but with less bodily fluids. Usually.
Got a good sex story? Leave it below or join in the tale telling on Facebook. If you have any questions, visit our discussion board.