Suitable for 18+

She’s avoiding me – now what?

Auntyji
Q: I am interested in a girl and proposed to her last month. But since then, she’s been avoiding me. We have been really close friends. I really like her and want to have a relationship with her. What should I do? Karthik, Lucknow

Auntyji says... Karthik, quickly call her, Karthik.

I am not joking here. It seems like you already know the answer to your query. Right? If life were so simple that every person we like a lot likes us back in the same manner, I would be typing this from George Clooney's bedroom. But unfortunately, am still in Sector 18 of Chandigarh.

Since we live in the real world, puttarji, sit down, take a deep breath and read on. Let’s give the situation a real shot. Our first step is to figure out what she feels about you.

You think she is avoiding you. Hmmmm. That says a lot. Haina? Maybe she is also uncomfortable around you. Maybe she doesn't know how to react to the situation?

Confusion
Try putting yourself in this girl's shoes. If your close friend, who was just a friend, declares that she has feelings for you, how would you react?

Emotions like confusion, guilt, irritation, fear might crop in your mind. This is what she must be going through right now. So isn't really a surprise that she may be avoiding you.

Sorry to break your heart, but the situation may be out of our control now. Sometimes, we confuse friendship and love. And vice versa. Lekin Dil toh tootta hai judne ke liye.

At least you were able to tell her what you feel for her. As this website says, love does matter. As Good old Tennyson declared, “It’s better to have played the game and lost then never to have loved at all.”

Give her space
The situation is dire and the best opportunity to show off our Lucknavi manners. Your best move will be to directly talk to this lady of your dreams and let her know that you are not an obsessive maniac.

If it’s not meant to be, it's obviously not meant to be. Give her space and let her decide if she still wants to be friends with you.

Don't impose and don't act all bitchy, or even preachy, about the situation. You will come out a better, stronger person. And for what's it worth, maybe your relationship with the girl might grow stronger. Just don't expect anything beyond it.

I know this hurts. But trust me, it gets better. India has over a hundred million single young women. Go on tiger, lose your heart to someone new. And the good part is that it's almost summer now. Get a bottle of roohafaza, will help you cool down.